Noobie Inspirational Rules

rparkera · 16-09-2006

Hi folks - as a current noobie myself I thought that I would share the wisdom gained whilst risking life and limb standing on the top of the ladder and finally getting it (more or less) working! Feel free to mock, laugh and add your own thoughts too. Here's my top 10 rules:

1. You need five hands to install and position a satellite motor - but don't worry 'cos your wife / partner can help you by standing on the ladder with you (just joking - don't even think of trying that), so take a bucket of stuff up with you, maybe pull the dish up on a strong cord and hang on tight like anything

2. The distance from the top of the ladder down seems to be twice the distance from the bottom of the ladder up - or so it feels like when you're up there. But don't worry - the more often you go up and down for the endless 'tweaking' then the shorter the distance seems to get

3. There is no motorised installation quite like yours - not only do you leave a bit of your heart and soul up there on the pole (and blood and skin too) but the answers given by the many helpful people on this site never quite seem to deal with the situation you are going to face (so it really does work out to be helpful to try out the whole set up at ground level)

4. You can't install a motorised dish without understanding the instructions but the manual is always incomprehensible - and the motor manual will always conflict with the receiver instructions. Luckily it is nearly always simpler than you think - remember when you first worked out your VCR instructions?

5. A knowledge of middle European languages will only lead to further confusion as most instructions have been written in one language but translated to English by someone with no knowledge of either. So check out this forum instead

6. Once you've got it working once, the whole thing will suddenly 'make sense' and you'll never look back. It's a really marvellous feeling - so exciting!

7. The whole setup is a lot easier to do than you would possibly imagine - almost any old dish, similar LNB (though it needs to match the dish), skewed LNB, any motor, reasonably straight and vertical pole and cheap receiver will work ... so don't spend money on state of the art stuff - just yet

8. Considering that we are aiming a saucepan lid at a light bulb 36,000 km away - it's actually amazingly easy to do but only by keeping on trying. You don't need to buy expensive test equipment - just a simple meter if you don't have someone indoors to shout back on the P/Q screen results

9. If it doesn't work - the answer is usually a simple one - plug loose, basic settings wrong, incorrect connection in wrong socket. It doesn't need a BSc in satellite engineering to get it sorted

10. There are only two types of installation problem - very simple or impossibly hard. For the former - keep trying and check this forum; for the latter - I found it was easier to take it all apart and start again

And then - for me - one day it suddenly all worked. Wonderful screams of delight from partner announced the arrival of both bars at the top of the scales. Delight at the top of the ladder that I could move on to the next excitement - bigger dish, more satellite, Dreambox hacking - who knows!?

Seriously, if in doubt - check this forum; they're amazingly helpful guys and 99% of our questions and problems have already been answered. So thanks again to all those whose advice is always such a real help and inspiration

rparkera

**Analoguesat** · 16-09-2006

A safety tip

Never ever try to install a dish if its windy. The wind loadings can be considerable and more than enough to pitch you off the top of a ladder.

**Llew** · 16-09-2006

Originally Posted by rparkera

Hi folks - as a current noobie myself I thought that I would share the wisdom gained whilst risking life and limb standing on the top of the ladder and finally getting it (more or less) working! Feel free to mock, laugh and add your own thoughts too. Here's my top 10 rules:

1. You need five hands to install and position a satellite motor - but don't worry 'cos your wife / partner can help you by standing on the ladder with you (just joking - don't even think of trying that), so take a bucket of stuff up with you, maybe pull the dish up on a strong cord and hang on tight like anything

2. The distance from the top of the ladder down seems to be twice the distance from the bottom of the ladder up - or so it feels like when you're up there. But don't worry - the more often you go up and down for the endless 'tweaking' then the shorter the distance seems to get

3. There is no motorised installation quite like yours - not only do you leave a bit of your heart and soul up there on the pole (and blood and skin too) but the answers given by the many helpful people on this site never quite seem to deal with the situation you are going to face (so it really does work out to be helpful to try out the whole set up at ground level)

4. You can't install a motorised dish without understanding the instructions but the manual is always incomprehensible - and the motor manual will always conflict with the receiver instructions. Luckily it is nearly always simpler than you think - remember when you first worked out your VCR instructions?

5. A knowledge of middle European languages will only lead to further confusion as most instructions have been written in one language but translated to English by someone with no knowledge of either. So check out this forum instead

6. Once you've got it working once, the whole thing will suddenly 'make sense' and you'll never look back. It's a really marvellous feeling - so exciting!

7. The whole setup is a lot easier to do than you would possibly imagine - almost any old dish, similar LNB (though it needs to match the dish), skewed LNB, any motor, reasonably straight and vertical pole and cheap receiver will work ... so don't spend money on state of the art stuff - just yet

8. Considering that we are aiming a saucepan lid at a light bulb 36,000 km away - it's actually amazingly easy to do but only by keeping on trying. You don't need to buy expensive test equipment - just a simple meter if you don't have someone indoors to shout back on the P/Q screen results

9. If it doesn't work - the answer is usually a simple one - plug loose, basic settings wrong, incorrect connection in wrong socket. It doesn't need a BSc in satellite engineering to get it sorted

10. There are only two types of installation problem - very simple or impossibly hard. For the former - keep trying and check this forum; for the latter - I found it was easier to take it all apart and start again

And then - for me - one day it suddenly all worked. Wonderful screams of delight from partner announced the arrival of both bars at the top of the scales. Delight at the top of the ladder that I could move on to the next excitement - bigger dish, more satellite, Dreambox hacking - who knows!?

Seriously, if in doubt - check this forum; they're amazingly helpful guys and 99% of our questions and problems have already been answered. So thanks again to all those whose advice is always such a real help and inspiration

rparkera

Excellent post rparkera - consider yourself a few notches above nooby status, and keep us posted on your progress

Llew

**rolfw** · 16-09-2006

LOL, nice post rparkera, I particularly like points one and two.

Lord Minty · 18-09-2006

Love point 8!

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Noobie Inspirational Rules Information exchange on LNBs, Single satellite, motorised and multi-satellite systems. DiSEqC switches, positioners, motors, actuators, dish-alignment etc.

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