Humiliated Eurovision duo advised to call themselves Nil Points

25-05-2003

The UK's humiliated Eurovision Song Contest entrants Jemini have been advised to change their name to Nil Points.

Pop commentators say the duo, who failed to score a single vote at the competition in Latvia, will probably benefit from their abject failure in the long run.

Katrina and the Waves drummer Alex Cooper, whose band won Eurovision for the UK in 1997 with Love Shine A Light, said: "If you're not going to win, then nil points is probably the best way to go.

"They are getting much more publicity now than if they had just got an average number of points."

Responding to suggestions the band might change their name to Nil Points, Cooper said: "It might be a great move.

"You have to take Eurovision with a sense of humour and not take it too seriously. I think from watching the show last night, you could tell there were quite a few countries who were treating it very tongue-in-cheek."

He added: "It wasn't our strongest entry. Politics and the choice of the wrong song probably affected them 50:50.

"But the song was chosen by the British public and the BBC runs a very democratic process. If anybody has got any serious complaints about this year's entry then write a better song next year."

Cooper did not think it was lack of talent which led the duo to sing out of tune.

He said: "I would imagine what happened was they probably started with terrible monitoring because by the end of the song they were singing fine. It's a live show and if the monitoring isn't right it's difficult to pitch at the beginning. I doubt whether it was their lack of ability - they were just unlucky."

He said the winning entry from Turkey was one of the best three or four songs but his favourite was Norway's I'm Not Afraid To Move On.

**2old4this** · 26-05-2003

Politics bull.
They sang completely out of tune for the first half of the song. It was astonishing. Only the congentially tone-deaf could have failed to hear this. Or perhaps thse who have not picked up on its had simply heard the song too many times and had a stubborn mental image of it being sung properly. Well for me, like most of the rest of Europe, it was the first time I'd heard the song or seen the duo - and it left me cringing. In fact as soon as the female had got through the first few bars in an agonisingly flat key, the result was entirely predictable. Placing the blame (even partiallly) on politics is dispicable. Witness the fact that Spain, which had aligned with the US & UK in the Iraq business, did fairly well.

2old
PS And I'd only switched on to see t.A.T.u nude. Imagine my disappointment...

**rolfw** · 26-05-2003

Tend to agree with you about the lack of political voting, there is always a high degree of old pals act voting, but probably no more than usual.

They were flat for the first part of the song because the foldback monitors weren't working, but unfortunately this does not disguise the fact that the song was incredibly ordinary anyway, as was their performance, even excluding the out of tune bit.

26-05-2003

In fact they were crap.

**rolfw** · 26-05-2003

No need to sugar coat it Net1.

**2old4this** · 26-05-2003

What the jibbery fek is a "foldback monitor"?? Is that some kind of special device that simulates musical talent?

**rolfw** · 26-05-2003

LOL, if it was, it definitely wouldn't have done any good there, too much to achieve.

It is how singers manage to sing in tune when on stage. The foldback monitor projects the vocal track back towards the singer so that they can hear what they are singing over and above the voluume of the music, one of the reasons why some jazz singers stick their finger in their ear, has a similar effect.

If you can't hear what you are singing, there is no way to adjust the pitch of your voice.

Agreed though, they were still bloody awful.

**Channel Hopper** · 26-05-2003

I heard it on the night

Our cats do better

Sometimes I wish there was a way to travel to a parallel universe

**rolfw** · 26-05-2003

Ahh, you need a foldback device.

**Channel Hopper** · 26-05-2003

No need

Just visited 348 other universes

They were crap there as well

(strangely enough TATU were naked in 22, and 2old was there with his casting couch in three of them )

**T_G** · 26-05-2003

I saw the show up to about half, then I switched to a movie. But I immediately noticed that ALL of them were singing out of key, including the Turkish song. But the UK was the worst in that sense, it took them ages to get it roughly right. And as someone said, if you can't hear yourself, you put up a hand on your ear. It is really such a basic thing when performing, I am very surprised....
Also, I found it very hard to understand some of the songs, but the winner had a line which said: I give you all my love affairs (or something, did I hear correctly????

**rolfw** · 26-05-2003

Probably, it is supposed to be quite raunchy.

***BarMoo*** · 27-05-2003

SKY News were going out on a limb yesterday to mock the dynamic Liverpudlians.

Great TV. Better than the cack-handed performance on the night. I was in a German pub, flag round shoulders, pint in one hand, head in other.

I should add that for the contest it all starts on the Monday before. In that week there are two vocal rehearsals, Friday there is the full dress rehearsal, Saturday not sure but I think there is another - and then, the event itself.

Unless the sound engineer was a vengeful Frenchy, there would have been no excuse for such a ****up. Artists always blame the toys.

Whatever, many of the artists, including (sic) the winner of this years contest used earpiece foldback. Some had on-set fold back (plexiglass wedges - v-nice), others must have relied on the foldback system below stage; including our very own losers. The BBC used out of sight foldback in 1998 if I remember correctly.

Why those nutters went out of there way to say yesterday that they COULD sing beggars belief. They didn't deliver the goods on the night and the rest of us were made to look right pricks: variously lying about the possible factors involved. Huh?

The highlight of that evening was going to bed without a hangover; since I left the pub pretty sharpish and before the voting has started.

Mark.

Did anyone else here think that everything was out of sync on Saturday?

**bratwurzt** · 02-06-2003

Bit unfair to the jewish singers then, not having a foldback device.

**rolfw** · 02-06-2003

LOL, would have to Bratwurzt coming out with the sausage joke.

**T_G** · 02-06-2003

Last time a Jewish singer won the Eurovision

he did indeed not have a foldback device on his Bratwurst. His Bratwurst had been minced

by that time completely, so he must have used another method to feel his way into the right groove...

**rolfw** · 02-06-2003

Crumbs, I'd forgotten all about Dana International, doesn't time fly.

**bratwurzt** · 03-06-2003

I had better just point out T_G (just in case you think me illiterate) someone already had the name so I had to stick a Z in it. Interesting you guys should know it's a sausage though, ever tried one?......oh god that sounds bad....I think you know what I mean

**T_G** · 04-06-2003

Well, me being sort of German in a twisted way I indeed noticed the alternative spelling of Bratwurst. I knew in my mind that this was not a typo, although I did not realise the replacement of the ess was completely out of consideration to the original Bratwurst. (Using the same name as someone else can cause anguish and despair, try 2old4this for that

)
I honestly had thought your use of "Z" was more in line with the young, current & modern "Hackerz" style of spelling. I thought you were a sort of outlaw cyber Bratwurzt-sauzage rampaging through internet forums & sites leaving a trail of fine cooking oil and a whiff of digital zauerkraut in your wake!

And regarding the question: Have we ever tried a sausage? WTF!!! You are not suggesting I am .................................................. .......a..

.......ahem....................................... .................................what they called ....................em............................ ...............a VEGETARIAN??

How dare you!!

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