Weird Tale of a SKY Install

***BarMoo*** · 24-10-2006

Wierd TV

It's nice to see a television broadcaster with a sense of theatre. The week before Sky sent a brace of men over to bestow multichannel TV on me, there had been a series of tantalising text messages: The engineers had been notified; the engineers had put the appointments in their diaries and were on their way - they'd be 20 minutes ... 17 minutes ... they'd just swerved to avoid a cat ... 15 minutes ... Ron might need to use the loo when they arrived ... eight minutes.

By the time the curtain rose on Ron and Non-Ron, I was agog with anticipation. Non-Ron went outside to assess dish-positioning options. Ron went for a pee and then joined him.

They looked at each other.

"Tree," said Non-Ron.
"Tree," agreed Ron.
"Tree?" I asked.

I had thought that as there was already a dish there, left by the previous owners, it would be a relatively simple matter to hook it up again. But it transpired that the tree next to the house would block the signal and the dish needed to be repositioned. How had other people managed? Ron, via the medium of shrugging, gave me to understand that this would probably have to be set down as one of the imponderable mysteries of the ages. A handful of experimental holes and a shredded climbing plant later, Non-Ron took a reading of the signal.

"Beeping?" said Ron.
"Beeping," agreed Non-Ron.
Ron turned to me. "'Sworking," he said with quiet pride.
"'Sworking!" I cried jubilantly.
"Thank you!"

So now I'm set.

By Lucy Mangan, (c) Media Guardian 24/10/06. The Media Guardian is a helpful resource for media and telly types. Requires registration. etc, etc.

24-10-2006

Not being nasty but Sky installers are a flipping joke

they have not got a clue i would not trust one with a plastic kids screw driver let alone a real one

,

Originally Posted by BarMoo

Wierd TV

It's nice to see a television broadcaster with a sense of theatre. The week before Sky sent a brace of men over to bestow multichannel TV on me, there had been a series of tantalising text messages: The engineers had been notified; the engineers had put the appointments in their diaries and were on their way - they'd be 20 minutes ... 17 minutes ... they'd just swerved to avoid a cat ... 15 minutes ... Ron might need to use the loo when they arrived ... eight minutes.

By the time the curtain rose on Ron and Non-Ron, I was agog with anticipation. Non-Ron went outside to assess dish-positioning options. Ron went for a pee and then joined him.

They looked at each other.

"Tree," said Non-Ron.
"Tree," agreed Ron.
"Tree?" I asked.

I had thought that as there was already a dish there, left by the previous owners, it would be a relatively simple matter to hook it up again. But it transpired that the tree next to the house would block the signal and the dish needed to be repositioned. How had other people managed? Ron, via the medium of shrugging, gave me to understand that this would probably have to be set down as one of the imponderable mysteries of the ages. A handful of experimental holes and a shredded climbing plant later, Non-Ron took a reading of the signal.

"Beeping?" said Ron.
"Beeping," agreed Non-Ron.
Ron turned to me. "'Sworking," he said with quiet pride.
"'Sworking!" I cried jubilantly.
"Thank you!"

So now I'm set.

By Lucy Mangan, (c) Media Guardian 24/10/06. The Media Guardian is a helpful resource for media and telly types. Requires registration. etc, etc.

**rolfw** · 24-10-2006

That's a little unfair as a generalisation, there are some good ones, I'v seen some very well installed dishes.

There do seem to be quite a few nitwits though, like the ones who replaced all four runs of my brown (matching the brickwork) WF100 from the dish to two locations, because "TV cable was no good for satellite". In fairness though, they did replace it with some nice contrasting black CT100.

***BarMoo*** · 24-10-2006

Originally Posted by rolfw

.......... like the ones who replaced all four runs of my brown (matching the brickwork) WF100 .. because "TV cable was no good for satellite".

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when that happened.

We join Ron and Rolf after Rolf has just explained why the cable was brown ..........

......... "Nah, yer see yer brown is for TV - because thuz an 'r' in it. White is for SKY - because thuz no 'Y' in it and Black is for cable - because thuz a ...

Rolf, interupts, "because, there's a 'C' in it - I get the picture .. "

"Nah, says Ron, because thuz a 'B' in it - and you said you did what again??"

At which point, Rolf returns to the house in despair.

Ron, ceases the oportunity to remind new starter Non-Ron about dumb-ass clients.

"So what colour is fibre then, Ron?" asks Non-Ron.

"I dunno" says Ron.

"Spaghetti has an 'i' in it."

"Shut up and give me that K-tell bracket." Stabs the master's voice.

.

**Channel Hopper** · 24-10-2006

Does anyone have pictures of an install that ended up with four cables neatly passing through from the outside, but inside they were entering the middle of a wall in a bedroom ?

24-10-2006

thats the type i am talking about 1% of them might know a thing or two but they aint go a clue the amount of jobs i have had to sort due to there screw up's ,

Rolf did they install DIGITAL coax ct100 for you they might have taken the old cable out because it was not DIGITAL coax

Originally Posted by rolfw

That's a little unfair as a generalisation, there are some good ones, I'v seen some very well installed dishes.

There do seem to be quite a few nitwits though, like the ones who replaced all four runs of my brown (matching the brickwork) WF100 from the dish to two locations, because "TV cable was no good for satellite". In fairness though, they did replace it with some nice contrasting black CT100.

**rolfw** · 24-10-2006

Originally Posted by Rd100

Rolf did they install DIGITAL coax ct100 for you they might have taken the old cable out because it was not DIGITAL coax

Yes, the old cable I'd put in the week before.

***BarMoo*** · 24-10-2006

Originally Posted by rolfw

Yes, the old cable I'd put in the week before.

You said earlier that you had four runs of cable (of your own flavour) - they replaced it. Fine.

Then you say the last install was done only a week after the first ?? [confused].

Rolf, what's going on at your place, LOL.

I'm sure you originally said "the new install was to a different location".

.

**rolfw** · 24-10-2006

Ah sorry, I knew what I was talking about.

.

I had installed a customer's old dish with single LNB as an addon to a new aerial system, I ran four cables, two each to two locations on the house, as they had ordered two Sky+ boxes and a mirror subscription.

***BarMoo*** · 24-10-2006

Oh, OK. So you aren't like the mad German (see Member Install Pics) who has an entire distribution network in his loft. That's comforting to know.

.

***wod*** · 25-10-2006

Originally Posted by rolfw

Ah sorry, I knew what I was talking about. .

I had installed a customer's old dish with single LNB as an addon to a new aerial system, I ran four cables, two each to two locations on the house, as they had ordered two Sky+ boxes and a mirror subscription.

ah i was thinking it was your house they had done that, as what muppets and where did you get brown wf100 cable from ?

i try to install things myself now as the sky muppets made a right mess of my sky install, 2 bolts holding dish up, should have seen how the f connectors were fitted, well it was cobra installers so what doi you expect

Cant wait to have a butchers at installing my motorised dish when i get it next week

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