London Times Obituary of the late

Topper

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense


'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long
ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned
but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when
you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little
in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It
Now, It's Not My Fault, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone

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War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left!

Formerly toppervte33h
whose six pack has turned into a keg

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Thank you.
Freddie Flintoff is back

Park Royal

Many a true word spoken in jest!.
The above story from "Topper" is so very true.
Parky

rolfw

Yes, seen it before somewhere, but bears reading again.

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2cvbloke

I think it was posted here a long while ago, great obituary though and does speak the truth about today's society...

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