Traffic OfficerGot a joke?
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Traffic OfficerGot a joke?
Why not share it. Please observe the forum language guidelines. | |
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25-08-2009
| #1 | ||
| Regular Member Join Date: 03-10-2004 Location: london
Posts: 208
Thanks: 0
Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts
My System: technomate 1500ci+motorised |
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door. "Is there a problem, Officer?" The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?" The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one." "You don't have one?" The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving." The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?" "I'm sorry, I can't do that." The policeman says, "Why not?" "I stole this car." The officer says, "Stole it?" The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner." At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?" "She's in the boot if you want to see."  The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun. The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!" The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?" "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner." "Murdered the owner?" The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?" The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot. The officer says, "Is this your car sir?" The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers. The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence." The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner." The man replies, "I bet you the lying b*st*rd told you I was speeding, too!" | ||
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25-08-2009
| #2 | ||
| Toute Ronde Bon Oeuf  Real name: Gordon Join Date: 29-05-2009 Location: North Yorks Moors
Posts: 1820
Thanks: 42
Thanked 168 Times in 162 Posts
My System: Triax 1.1m and Orbital 80cm Motorised Dishes. Various fixed Dishes. Eclectic selection of Digital and Analogue Receivers. Complex switching and distribution that SWMBO cannot fathom. Nor me. | Good one, hoggy | ||
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25-08-2009
| #3 | ||
| aka Skyman  Join Date: 13-06-2003 Location: Limassol, Sunny Cyprus
Posts: 1720
Thanks: 14
Thanked 58 Times in 54 Posts
My System: 3m(sky),1.8m(astr/hotbird),1m (nilesat)1m(arabsat)diseqc 4,sky plus,humax freesat,visionet 8000s,technomate 5400 ci+ usb super. Satlook nit colour + Horizon hdsm. wii  | i must remember that one,next time i get stopped  | ||
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25-08-2009
| #4 | ||
| Regular Member  Real name: Chris Join Date: 20-07-2009 Location: South Coast, Hampshire
Posts: 88
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Blog Entries: 1 My System: Currently, Nokia 1800S with satscan, analogue receiver, Nokia 9800S, D box with DVB2000, 90cm solid offset dish, Panasonic tv with inbuilt freesat. Sky + HD (for the wife, mostly!) | A guy is speeding along the road when he gets pulled by a traffic cop. As he stands alongside his car the guy has his legs crossed and is obviously in a bit of "intestinal discomfort". The policeman asks him why he is in such a hurry. The guy replies " I am sorry officer, I was racing to find a s**thouse". The policeman replies "Well now you have found one, hand over your driving license". | ||
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