Some extremely lame jokes.

spiney

I wuz watchin' Goldmember (last night, Ch4) and thought: "hey, bet I can do even worse!". So here's some very poor jokes. No, please, don't laugh (and don't try drinking loadsa beer first, cos they won't seem any funnier, so you'd just be wasting money).

What's yellow and square?

Old fashioned custard.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To avoid a big flap.

Waiter, what's that fly doing in my soup?

Resucing the other fly, sir, it can't swim.

Why did the sausage roll?

Because somebody pushed it.

An Englishman, Scotsman, Welshman, Irishman, all go into a pub.

(Well, why shouldn't they?).

How many elephants can you fit into a Mini?

Four - obviously - but put the back ones in first, because they can't climb over the front ones.

How do you fit a giraffe into a Mini?

Put it between the elephants.

How do you fit a blue whale into a Mini?

Don't be silly, there's no room left.

How do you get the elephants out?

One at a time, and keep their tusks clear of the giraffe.

(OK. Goldmember was quite funny, certainly worth watching, but oh my, Mike Myers' "sense of humour" ....... ).