even more extremely lame jokes.

spiney

Jokes so lame, they can't possibly stand up, and should be shot!

I was going to wait for next Austin Powers movie, on ITV1, but if a joke's poor, then it's poor at any time, after all a bad joke's for life not just for Christmas.

"Because it's not worth it".

I say I say, my wife claims she's "only" gone on holiday.

Germany? No, it's the first one she's ever told. Boom boom.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A jumpy animal that constantly bleats about fluff in its pocket.

Doctor doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.

Sorry Mr Smith, there's a 2 year waiting list for my reply.

Dentist: that tooth is bad, it will have to come out.

Patient, ha ha ha, it's fine, pull the other one.

Why can't you starve in the desert?

Because before that you'll die of thirst.

How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

None; 6 to contract out the work, but none to change the bulb.

How do you get 4 bishops into a Mini?

Ask them to take off those huge hats first.

How do you get 4 mullahs into a Mini?

Wait till after prayers, then show it's a cost effective way to reach Mecca.

How do you get 4 rabbis into a Mini?

That's a Woody Allen joke - except he said "Chevvy" - so copyrighted!

How do you get 4 athiests into a Mini?

Use pure logic, show it's reasonable, they'll probably all fit in, etc.

How do you get 4 company directors into a Mini?

Offer huge share options (then massive payoffs, to get them out again!).

How do you get 4 politicians into a Mini?

I'm glad you asked me that very important question. It's one of the most discussed issues of our time, and especially of interest to younger people, who are the "next generation", and of course will be "inheriting" this planet from "our generation" (hey, bro, sis, look I'm really with it, yes I'm cool baby!). I'm not just speaking for myself here! I've discussed this with many colleagues, from all the main political parties, and I can confidently say there's a very high level of broad cross-party support, across the political spectrum, on this highly important topic.
In fact, I've already been having informal discussions about this - if you like, "little chats" - with several friends. What we're going to do is set up a number of cross-party focus groups. Eventually, we hope to reach a consensus. Of course, that won't happen overnight, it takes time, we've got to sort out the possibilities and various options, then take these back to our constituencies for further discussions and ratification. We're talking about quite a few years here. So, progress, yes, but probably on a rather long timescale.
The next step would be to set up a cross-party parliamentary committee, leading towards issuing a consultation document, as a first step towards a white paper, but I can't see that happening during the remainder of this current parliament ......

(Thinks ...my suits aren't grey enough, wonder if you can fade them with constant washing, like you can blue jeans?)

Continued, probably, but not on this planet!