Live TV quotes

gameboy

Sent in an email to me so I cannot take the credit...

Live TV quotes:

Michael Burke on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
Superbike racing:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on
This Morning:
"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

'Winning Post's' S! tewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead:
"Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what
he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire
match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

The new stand at Doncaster racecourse took Brough Scott's breath
away...
"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
race when he said:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:
"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

US PGA Commentator -
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

Metro Radio -
"Julian Dicks is every! where. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 -
"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator -
"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

New Zealand Rugby Commentator -
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator -
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria, I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

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Only he who does nothing, does nothing wrong.

Llew

Hilarious! There's some jewels there

Llew

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Celebrating Ten Years Of The Forum As A Founder Member

RedDevil_UK

great stuff, keep em coming

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dago

keep them comming, my favourity so far is the last one,
mind you, I do love a bit of snatch.

regards.

Salty25

classics, absolute classics

Analoguesat

Theres a famous cricket one from the 1970's / early 80's

"The bowlers Holding the batsmans Willey"

Llew

Ah, Johnners... may he RIP. Listen to the famous 'Leg over' broadcast-

_www.radioacademy.org/halloffame/johnston_b/sounds/johnston.mp3

Llew

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Celebrating Ten Years Of The Forum As A Founder Member

canine

Brilliant - thank you.
canine