Mens rules

simonskyman

MEN'S RULES:
>>
>> (At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the
>> guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>
>>
>> We always hear about "the rules"
>> From the female side.
>> Now here are the rules from the male side.
>> These are our rules!
>> Please note these are all numbered "1"
>> ON PURPOSE!
>>
>>
>> 1. Men ARE not mind readers.
>>
>> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it
>> down.
>>
>> We need it up, you need it down.
>> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>> 1. Watching Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>> or the changing of the tides - its always going to happen. Let it be.
>>
>> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>> And we are never going to think of it that way.
>>
>> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>> 1. Ask for what you want.
>> Let us be clear on this one:
>> Subtle hints do not work!
>> Strong hints do not work!
>> Obvious hints do not work!
>> Just say it!
>>
>> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>> question.
>>
>> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
>> what we do.
>> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
>>
>> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>>
>> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us
>> to act like soap opera guys.
>>
>> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>>
>> 1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the
>> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>
>> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
>> done, but not both. If you already know the best way to do it, then
just
>> do it yourself.
>>
>> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>> commercials.
>>
>> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need to ask for directions and
neither
>> do we.
>>
>> 1. ALL men see in only 12 colors, not more and not less.
>> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Same goes for Pumpkin.
We
>> have no idea what mauve is, nor do we care to know.
>>
>> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. That is what we do.
>>
>> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>> nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but its just not worth the
>> hassle.
>>
>> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer
>> you don't want to hear.
>>
>>
>> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>> fine... Really.
>>
>> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>> discuss such topics as baseball, golf or sex.
>>
>> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>>
>> Thank you for reading this.
>> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's just like camping....

>>