Being British

DSM

Being British

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home and grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign!!!

Oh and!!!!!

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.




Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in Britain.. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
DIET coke.



Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.





Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.



Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.



Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.



31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.



19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.



A massive 543 Brits (All Welsh) were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.



5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
Scalextric cars.



and finally.........

In 2005 eight Brits (All Scottish) cracked their skull whilst throwing up
into the toilet.



Makes you proud to be British!

RULE BRITANNIA!!!

gameboy

And 46% of all crimes go unreported - how do they know that!

Don't you just love statistics...

Like - more people die after eating grapes than any other fruit - true!

Only because they are more likely to be in hospital!

A person is knocked down every two minutes in the UK - and they're getting pretty fed up with it!

A women has a baby every 30 seconds in China - if only we could find her and stop her!

the list goes on....

__________________

Only he who does nothing, does nothing wrong.

paulommaia

very nice m8

BarMoo

Nah, I definitely thinks she lives in Berlin - somewhere in my neighbourshod - I would like to shoot her Domestos dead right, well, yesterday!

Nice list DSM (not a driving instructor are you, LOL). Enjoyed them.

__________________
Have Fun, Moo.

Woody44

[quote=gameboy]And 46% of all crimes go unreported - how do they know that!

Don't you just love statistics...

Vic Reeves once said that 88.2% of statistics were made up on the spot.
I reckon that 60% of people would agree........