Crisbe
Regular Member
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2009
- Messages
- 88
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 76
- My Satellite Setup
- Currently, Nokia 1800S with satscan, analogue receiver, Nokia 9800S, D box with DVB2000, 90cm solid offset dish, Panasonic tv with inbuilt freesat. Sky + HD (for the wife, mostly!)
- My Location
- South Coast, Hampshire
A blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter met her and informed her that Heaven was suffering an overload of goodly souls and that they had been forced to instigate an entrance exam, to ease the burden of Heavenly arrivals.
"that's cool" said the blonde, "What does the entrance exam consist of?"
"Just three questions" said St Peter.
"Which are?" asked the blonde.
" The first" said St Peter, "is which two days of the week begin with the letter T?
The second is how many seconds are there in a year?
The third is what is the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"
"Now," said St Peter, " Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you I shall expect you to have those answers for me."
So the blonde went awat and gave those three questions some considerable thought (Iexpect you to do the same before reading further)
The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied "I have".
"Well then" said St Peter, "which two days of the week start with the letter T?"
The blonde said "Today and Tomorrow"
st Peter pondered this answer for sime time and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
"Well then, could I have your answer to the second question?" St Peter said, "How many seconds are there in a year?"
The blonde replied "Twelve".
"Only twelve?" exclaimed St Peter, " How did you arrive at that figure?"
" Easy" said the blonde "there's the second of January, the second of February, the second of March right through to the second of December, giving twelve seconds in total!"
St Peter looked at the blonde and said "I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision." and he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later he returned and said to the blonde, " I will allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed in to heaven. Now can you tell me the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"
The blonde replied, " Of the three questions, I found this one the easiest to answer!"
"really!" exclaimed St Peter, "and what is the answer?"
"It's Andy!"
"Andy???"
"Yes it's Andy," said the blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and , turning to the blonde asked " How in the name of God did you arrive at THAT answer?"
v
v
v
"Easy" said the blonde, "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled."
And the blonde was allowed to enter heaven!
WHAT'S WORSE, I BET YOU ARE NOW SINGING IT TO YOURSELF!!!!
"that's cool" said the blonde, "What does the entrance exam consist of?"
"Just three questions" said St Peter.
"Which are?" asked the blonde.
" The first" said St Peter, "is which two days of the week begin with the letter T?
The second is how many seconds are there in a year?
The third is what is the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"
"Now," said St Peter, " Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you I shall expect you to have those answers for me."
So the blonde went awat and gave those three questions some considerable thought (Iexpect you to do the same before reading further)
The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied "I have".
"Well then" said St Peter, "which two days of the week start with the letter T?"
The blonde said "Today and Tomorrow"
st Peter pondered this answer for sime time and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
"Well then, could I have your answer to the second question?" St Peter said, "How many seconds are there in a year?"
The blonde replied "Twelve".
"Only twelve?" exclaimed St Peter, " How did you arrive at that figure?"
" Easy" said the blonde "there's the second of January, the second of February, the second of March right through to the second of December, giving twelve seconds in total!"
St Peter looked at the blonde and said "I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision." and he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later he returned and said to the blonde, " I will allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed in to heaven. Now can you tell me the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"
The blonde replied, " Of the three questions, I found this one the easiest to answer!"
"really!" exclaimed St Peter, "and what is the answer?"
"It's Andy!"
"Andy???"
"Yes it's Andy," said the blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and , turning to the blonde asked " How in the name of God did you arrive at THAT answer?"
v
v
v
"Easy" said the blonde, "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled."
And the blonde was allowed to enter heaven!
WHAT'S WORSE, I BET YOU ARE NOW SINGING IT TO YOURSELF!!!!