A tribute to Ronnie Barkers spoonerisms

S

simonskyman

I do dishes,me.
Messages
81
Likes
0
My Satellite Setup
big dish,sat box thingy,colour tv.and a remote control.
My Location
Limassol,Cyprus
#1

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
:-googly
 
Channel Hopper

Channel Hopper

Suffering fools, so you don't have to.
Staff member
Messages
25,970
Likes
5,881
My Satellite Setup
A little less analogue, and a lot more crap.
My Location
UK South
#2
I dont think that was ever a Ronnie Barker sketch
 
Zorba

Zorba

Regular Member
Messages
2,201
Likes
7
My Satellite Setup
3m(28.2E),1.5m(19.2E.13E,10E),1m (4W ,7W)1m (?).diseqc 10,sky plus,VU+,telergy iptv.
Satlook nit colour + Horizon hdsm.
My Location
Limassol, Sunny Cyprus
#3
Channel Hopper said:
I dont think that was ever a Ronnie Barker sketch
He would never have got away with that on BBC.
Gucking food though .:-pachrist
 
Llew

Llew

cerca trova...
Staff member
Messages
14,536
Likes
3,436
My Satellite Setup
Triple Dragon, Dreambox 8000, Echostar AD3000ip, TBS6522,6925,6983 PCie cards.
Gibertini 1.25m motorised dish driven by the AD3000, with either Inverto BU Quad or Norsat / XMW Ka LNBs . SMW 1.05m + 3 other dishes. Speccy: Promax HD Ranger+
My Location
The Flatlands of East Anglia
#4
Besides, a Spoonerism is the transposition of the first letters of two words to make two different real words - not many in that story.

Llew
 
J

John T

Regular Member
Messages
90
Likes
0
My Satellite Setup
60cm dish, dual LNB, Topfield TF5010PVR
My Location
North Staffordshire England
#5
I do not think anyone will ever beat the "Fork 'Andles" sketch, sort of spoonerism!
 
J

jonnysolar

Member
Messages
1
Likes
0
My Satellite Setup
...
My Location
UK
#6
i had to join satellite solely to reply to this thread -been searching for a clip of this and unfortunately it is copyrighted by the beeb, and so can't view it - on youtube there are a number of poor imitations, however i can guarantee you 100% it was ronnie barker who performed this, back in the 70's... and yes, miraculous as it may be, no-one complained about it.maybe it was the speed of delivery, along with the skill and deadpan attitude, but he managed it - even in this day and age with much more lax standards, its likely a less skilled performer would fudge and fluff it, and provoke complaints - but bless his soul, 'he done it'.
 
PaulR

PaulR

Dazed and Confused Admin
Staff member
Messages
15,918
Likes
3,162
My Satellite Setup
-----------See sig-----------
My Location
Wirral, NW UK and Vaucluse, France.
#7
jonnysolar said:
i had to join satellite solely to reply to this thread
We'll do anything to grab new members!

But seriously, welcome to the forum and I hope that this isn't your only post here.
 
Analoguesat

Analoguesat

Administrator
Staff member
Messages
46,029
Likes
8,550
Location
Scottish Borders
My Satellite Setup
TM 5402HD
Skybox F3
Sky+ UK.
My Location
Scottish Borders
#8
Theres no way RB did this one. During the highlights series a couple of years back they did fork 'andles (of course :D) and RC said after it that RB was never happy with the end as saw tips was too crude a finish
 
mhku

mhku

Super Moderator
Staff member
Messages
4,712
Likes
20
My Satellite Setup
TM Nano ~ sg2100
My Location
Midlands
#9
If you google it every hit has almost verbatim the same intro blurb... has a hint of urban myth about it. It's not in Ronnie Barker's "Everything I ever wrote" although he does say the BBC lost a few series of the Two Ronnies (!) so that may be why there are no surviving copies of it.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
 
Woody44

Woody44

Member
Messages
17
Likes
7
Location
Up a tree
My Satellite Setup
TM 6902 HD T2 Super
24inch Apple iMac, i7 920 PC, 32inch Samsung LED TV
My Location
At the receiving end.
#10
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

Dog handling equipment went in the same raid. The police are asking for leads.
 
PaulR

PaulR

Dazed and Confused Admin
Staff member
Messages
15,918
Likes
3,162
My Satellite Setup
-----------See sig-----------
My Location
Wirral, NW UK and Vaucluse, France.
#11
Woody44 said:
Dog handling equipment went in the same raid. The police are asking for leads.
The same raid left a hole in the ground. The police are looking in to it.
 
mhku

mhku

Super Moderator
Staff member
Messages
4,712
Likes
20
My Satellite Setup
TM Nano ~ sg2100
My Location
Midlands
#12
The same raid left a hole in the ground. The police are looking in to it.
West Mercia police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.
 
Top