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Fool ass joke.

Pullet_Surprise

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#1
A jellybean and a smartie sat at the bar.

Smartie says: " Fancy a club after this then"

Jelly Bean: "Nah, every time I go to a club I get a kicking. My shell is soft and every time I get in a fight my guts spill out"

Smartie: "Look kidda, I've got a hard shell and I'm soft inside, I never get in any trouble, you'll be okay with me...c’mon"

Jellybean: "Oh okay, what the hell"

Later on the dance floor Jellybean and smartie are raving like good uns. Immediately five Lockets arrive, rush to the dance floor, start flinging themselves around, and end up kicking ten bells out of the Jellybean.

Jelly bean wakes up one hour later in casualty, turns to Smartie and says

"I thought you were supposed to be looking after me"

Smartie: "Yeah, But those lockets are well menthol"







Hope this translates to text okay
;)
 

rolfw

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#2
I think that may be a Guild in joke PS, best increase your spice intake. ;)
 

Pullet_Surprise

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#3
Two pieces of black tarmac sat at the bar.

First black Tarmac "Shit..dont look round now"

Like you do the second black tarmac turns round.

First black tarmac grabs him and says "I thought i said don't look round".

Second black tarmac: "Whats the problem, he's just another tarmac, we are all the same in here"

First black tarmac: "Its only one of the red tarmacs, you tit, don't look"

Second Black Tarmac "Well he looks okay to me, whats the problem"?

First black Tarmac: "Those red ones...they're all cycle paths"






Aiiee, cmon stop it now:D
 

rolfw

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#4
LOL, that's better, my nephew will love it.
 

rolfw

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#6
Perhaps we ought to keep this as a jokes thread.
 

chris

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#8
The old ones are the best-

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons.

"My son was born on St George's Day," commented the Englishman. "So we obviously decided to call him George."

"That's a real coincidence,"remarked the Scot. "My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew."

"That's incredible, what a coincidence," said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."