Fruit Cake Recipe
Ingredients
a cup of water
a cup of sugar
a cup of butter
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit a teaspoon of baking soda
a teaspoon of salt
a cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
and a bottle of whisky
Method
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat if necessary.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off your mixerer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl, and chuck in a cup of fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey again to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner, bottle the check and pat out the cut before going to bed.
By John Gulland
Ingredients
a cup of water
a cup of sugar
a cup of butter
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit a teaspoon of baking soda
a teaspoon of salt
a cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
and a bottle of whisky
Method
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat if necessary.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off your mixerer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl, and chuck in a cup of fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey again to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner, bottle the check and pat out the cut before going to bed.