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! Young Billy wanted to be the best, most feared gunfighter in the Old West, and when he spotted Doc Holliday having a beer in a saloon, he asked if he could have a word with him.
"Sure, son, what's on your mind?" asks Doc, looking up at the young man.
"Sir, I want to be the best gunfighter there is, and I'd be in your debt if you'd give me a lesson or two" says Billy.
"Well, the first thing I'd do" says Doc, "is tie the bottom of your holster to your leg so your pistol don't get caught in it when you draw."
Billy does as suggested, whips out his pistol and shoots the string-tie off the guy playing the piano. "Hey, you were right, Doc", says Billy. "What else?"
"If you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, your gun will come out smoother" suggests Doc.
Billy does as Doc recommends, draws again and shoots a cufflink off the piano player. "This is great, Doc" says the delighted Billy, "anything more?"
"One more thing", says Doc. "Get that tub of lard over there and rub it all over your pistol."
"You mean so it'll slide out of the holster faster?" says young Billy.
"No," says Doc, "you need to do that so when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano and shoves your gun up your ass, it won't hurt as much."
