If easily offended do not read

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Amo Amas Amant Admin
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Nov 18, 2004
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Age
69
My Satellite Setup
Has gone to a good home elsewhere
My Location
Blackburn, Lancashire
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.

I walked past a black kid sitting on the floor as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me he put his hand out and said 'Any change?' I said, 'No, you're still black'.

Snow is forecast and the TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, no chance with a face like that!

A 10-year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, s_x is the last ting on my mind.'

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself, ‘I'm going to have that.'

I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large fries & a jumbo hot dog. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
 
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