In case you need further proof

Topper

Amo Amas Amant Admin
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In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???.....)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
 

Topper

Amo Amas Amant Admin
Staff member
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Messages
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Age
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My Satellite Setup
Has gone to a good home elsewhere
My Location
Blackburn, Lancashire
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???.....)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
 

PaulR

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The Swedish chainsaw intrigues me. I want to know MORE!
 

PaulR

Dazed and Confused Admin
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-----------See sig-----------
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The Swedish chainsaw intrigues me. I want to know MORE!
 

BombedOne

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The sweedish chainsaw story is partially true -certain chainsaw manufacturer (don't remember brand, maybe STIHL?) poster has a photo of man holding chainsaw with it's jaws holded by his feet, and trying to kickstart it :). There big letters saying READ SAFETY GUIDES FIRST! :) I have that poster somewhere in attic...
 

BombedOne

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My Satellite Setup
Covering 30W-105.5E range, two motors, C and Ku band. Various receivers/cards/cams/etc.
My Location
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The sweedish chainsaw story is partially true -certain chainsaw manufacturer (don't remember brand, maybe STIHL?) poster has a photo of man holding chainsaw with it's jaws holded by his feet, and trying to kickstart it :). There big letters saying READ SAFETY GUIDES FIRST! :) I have that poster somewhere in attic...
 

Vipersan

Emmett Browns Ghost
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AZbox PrmHD + OpnbxS9HD + Skybox + DrHD F15
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2 m+ Alcoa PF + BSC421 C-Band lnbf...
+SS2/TwHnS2-3200 pci/TBS6925 pci
1.5 Fortec Star -Gbox - HtoH Ku/Ka/C
My Location
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...You just gotta photocopy that .. BombedOne...assuming it aint to big for the copier..
;)
 

Vipersan

Emmett Browns Ghost
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My Satellite Setup
IP9000HD +
TD110 Dish and TD88 Dish in Tandem
66°East to 60°West.
AZbox PrmHD + OpnbxS9HD + Skybox + DrHD F15
2x VboxII AZ-EL
2 m+ Alcoa PF + BSC421 C-Band lnbf...
+SS2/TwHnS2-3200 pci/TBS6925 pci
1.5 Fortec Star -Gbox - HtoH Ku/Ka/C
My Location
UK
...You just gotta photocopy that .. BombedOne...assuming it aint to big for the copier..
;)
 

hoggy

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These have been floating around for years on email, I suspect some of them may be urban myths, however I've just munched on a packet of dry roasted peanuts from Lidl, the warning on the back says "product may contain nuts" :)

I should bloody well hope so, or I'm calling trading standards!!
 

hoggy

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These have been floating around for years on email, I suspect some of them may be urban myths, however I've just munched on a packet of dry roasted peanuts from Lidl, the warning on the back says "product may contain nuts" :)

I should bloody well hope so, or I'm calling trading standards!!
 
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