Artist 2004
Anatolia correspondent
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2004
- Messages
- 252
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 71
- My Satellite Setup
-
GoldMaster 7400 CIM 2MB with Kaon board 12.03.a5. Technomate 1000, Technomate 5200 USB.
Two 80cm offset dishes.
- My Location
- West coast, Turkey
Yesterday the place where I live was struck by three earthquakes, 5.7, 5.8, 5.9 on the richter scale, epicentres in the sea within 50 miles of my house. At this strength they swing lights, knock you against furniture and knock things off shelves. Roofs collapse on older buildings. And you run out of the house damned fast! I was on the roof trying to adjust my dish to pick up Hispasat when the third one struck. From this experience I have developed a "How to.." guide:
How to predict an earthquake by installing a satellite dish.
a. When the first earthquake has finished, come back into the house and sit in fear.
b. Every so often, say once or twice an hour, when after shocks occur run outside in panic, try to look cool and exchange nervous chat with neighbours, and then go back and sit again in fear.
c. After an hour or two of this, you start to feel confident that you can nip up on to the roof between after shocks. When you get this feeling IT IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AN IMPENDING EARTHQUAKE.
d. After an hour or so more, you are damned sure you can do it and you gather your tools. If you love your neighbours this is the time to tell them to get out of their houses with all speed.
e. On the roof, you lay out your tools and loosen the adjusting bolts. This is the CRITICAL MOMENT and a 5 point niner will immediately break loose. You will form a new and unexpected deep relationship with your chimney, arms wrapped tightly around, cables will fly, and tools will rattle down the roof and fall to the ground.
Finding Hispasat still eludes me, though!
How to predict an earthquake by installing a satellite dish.
a. When the first earthquake has finished, come back into the house and sit in fear.
b. Every so often, say once or twice an hour, when after shocks occur run outside in panic, try to look cool and exchange nervous chat with neighbours, and then go back and sit again in fear.
c. After an hour or two of this, you start to feel confident that you can nip up on to the roof between after shocks. When you get this feeling IT IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AN IMPENDING EARTHQUAKE.
d. After an hour or so more, you are damned sure you can do it and you gather your tools. If you love your neighbours this is the time to tell them to get out of their houses with all speed.
e. On the roof, you lay out your tools and loosen the adjusting bolts. This is the CRITICAL MOMENT and a 5 point niner will immediately break loose. You will form a new and unexpected deep relationship with your chimney, arms wrapped tightly around, cables will fly, and tools will rattle down the roof and fall to the ground.
Finding Hispasat still eludes me, though!