New English Dictionary Definitions

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Divorce : Future tense of marriage..

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence
after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
 

Saturlight

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Resting: "on the dole"

In between relationships: "minger" :D

Put on a few pounds: "can't fit into my size 44 inch waist pants"

A regular social drinker: "alcoholic". :D

Wide parting: "bald head"

Showing my age: "well passed it!" ;)

Short on funds: "skint"

:D lol.
 
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