Quotes and comments from the wonderful world of football



The Consumate Dreamer
Staff member
My Satellite Setup
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INTERVIEWER : Which is your favourite commentary team, BBC or ITV?

'Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out.' – ALEX FERGUSON

'Glenn is putting his head in the frying pan.' - OSSIE ARDILES

'I would have to be deaf not to read the allegations.' - BOBBY DOWNES

'We're not used to weather in June in this country.' - JIMMY HILL

'He went through a non-existent gap.' – CLIVE TYLDESLEY

'Peru score their third, and it's 3-1 to Scotland.' - DAVID COLEMAN

'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.' – KEVIN KEEGAN

'England now have three fresh men, with three fresh legs.' - JIMMY HILL

'With news of Scotland's 0-0 victory over Holland...' - SCOTTISH TV

'The Dutch look like a huge jar of marmalade.' - BARRY DAVIES

'A game is not won until it is lost.' – DAVID PLEAT

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.' – KEVIN KEEGAN

'Neil Lennon wasn't sent off for scoring a goal, and that's what annoys me.' – MARTIN O'NEILL

'Wimbledon are putting balls into the blender.' - RODNEY MARSH

'Sampdoria are real, but they can't play in the Spanish league with the other Real's.' - GRAHAM JOFFE (CNN)

'Last night, we were the best team on the day.' - ROY AITKEN

'He (Steve Walsh) is the type of player who will follow you to every end of the box.' – KERRY DIXON

‘Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.' – KEVIN KEEGAN

'Nowhere in Europe, especially the world...' - ALEX FERGUSON

Howard Wilkinson : "I'm a firm believer that if the other side scores first you have to score twice to win."

Alex Ferguson : "If we can play like that every week we'll get some level of consistency."

Bob Paisley : "Still we've had the hard times too - one year we finished second."

Kevin Keegan (Newcastle manager - April 1994) : "Sir John Hall was a multi-millionaire when I came back to Newcastle. With all the players I've bought, I'm trying to make him just an ordinary millionaire."

Bruce Grobbelaar : "Bruce Grobbelaar will play on until he is 40 - and at the top level."

Keith Burkinshaw (former WBA manager) : "People complain about the number of games, but when Liverpool were dominating Europe they were playing twice a week."

Elderly Bolton fan during their 2-0 defeat of Liverpool : "It's nice t'see t'lads playing in white socks again."

Ian Rush : "It's best being a striker. If you miss five, then score the winner, you're a hero. The goalkeeper can play a blinder, then let one in ... and he's a villain."

Neil Ruddock (on Liverpool's 100% start to the 1994-95 season) : "On those performances I reckon we would have taken Brazil."

Roy Evans (on Ian Rush's 600th Liverpool appearance) : "He's better than Brian Lara because he's 600 not out. What a guy."

Graeme Souness (after Rob Jones' debut at Manchester United) : "It looks as if this boy is going to be some player."

Jim Rosenthal - TV Football reporter : "There's nothing like second best, and Liverpool certainly are not!"

Graeme Souness (August 1987 as Rangers' new manager) : "My plans for Rangers can only be achieved by buying. I don't have time for young players to mature. That could take five years, and by then I could be out the door."

Fulham Programme, trailing their Littlewoods Cup-tie, second leg, against Liverpool after losing the first 10-0 : "Should the aggregate score be level after 90 minutes, extra time will be played."

Bobby Robson (after Liverpool's shock FA Cup Final defeat by Wimbledon) : "I didn't want Kenny to be criticised, but I'm amazed nobody said a word against him. If England had lost at Wembley as unexpectedly as Liverpool, I would have been slaughtered."

Bill Shankly (at Dixie Dean's funeral) : "I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday Afternoon."

Bill Shankly (when told he had never experienced playing in a derby) : "Nonsense! I've kicked every ball, headed out every cross. I once scored a hat-trick; One was lucky, but the others were great goals."

Bill Shankly (after beating Everton in the '71 cup semi) : "Sickness would not have kept me away from this one. If I'd been dead, I would have had them bring the casket to the ground, prop it up in the stands and cut a hole in the lid."

Bill Shankly (to a photographer who suggested Brian Clough was outspoken) : "Laddie, that man scored 200 goals in 270 matches - an incredible record - and he has won cup after cup as a manager. When he talks, pin back your ears."

Avi Cohen (to Kenny Dalglish on the day that Cohen joined the club) : "You, me, same." Dalglish, perplexed, just nodded. But when the next day Cohen said the
same thing. Dalglish said, "What are you talking about, Avi?" Avi replied "You, me, same. Both learn English."

Bill Shankly : "A lot of football success is in the mind. You must believe you are the best and then make sure that you are. In my time at Liverpool we always said we had the best two teams on Merseyside, Liverpool and Liverpool Reserves."

Bill Shankly : "If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing."

Bill Shankly : "The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game."

Bill Shankly (to a reporter in the 60's) : "Yes, Roger Hunt misses a few, but he gets in the right place to miss them."

Bill Shankly (after signing Ron Yeats) : "With him in defence, we could play Arthur Askey in goal."

Bill Shankly (after a hard fought 1-1 draw) : "The best side drew."

Bill Shankly (after a 0-0 draw at Anfield) : "What can you do, playing against 11 goalposts?"

Bill Shankly (to the players after failing to sign Lou Macari) : "I only wanted him for the reserves."

Jock Stein (on Shanks) : "I don't believe everything Bill tells me about his players. If they were that good, they'd not only have won the European Cup but the Ryder Cup, the Boat Race and even the Grand National!"

Phil Boersma (on the moment Souness told him that he was having a heart bypass) : "He's a vain bastard, I thought he was going to tell me that he was having a nose job."

Bill Shankly (talking to a Liverpool trainee) : "The problem with you, son, is that all your brains are in your head"

Alan McInally ([ex Celtic, Aston Villa and Bayern Munich] during a Rangers v Hearts game) : "Yes, it looks as if Hearts have reverted to a five man back four."

Ray Harford (former Luton manager, after goalkeeper Les Sealey was concussed in collision with an opponent) : "He still looks a bit dopey, but it's hard to tell the difference with him."

Notice (in Derby County's dressing-room, put up by Brian Clough when he was manager and still there) : "The biggest crime in football is to give the ball to the opposition."

Dave Bassett (when Wimbledon were top of the first division after four games) : "My mum wants the season to end tomorrow."

Brian Clough (on his young Forest side) : "Acne is a bigger problem than injuries."

John McGrath (former Preston manager, recalling his days as Newcastle centre-half) : "Joe Harvey once said to me: 'I've got a special job for you today. I want to see how fast their centre-forward can limp.'"

Dave Bassett (after another Wimbledon defeat) : "I'm not too happy with our attack. Some of them couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo."

Howard Wilkinson (after a one-all draw) : "If they hadn't scored, we would've won"

Anonymous Southampton fan after the match-rigging allegations : "I'd rather have Bruce Grobbelaar trying to lose than Dave Beasant trying to win."

Neil Ruddock (on a penalty awarded after a "foul" by him on Tottenham's Jurgen Klinsmann - David James saved the ensuing spot-kick) : "I looked around and it was the usual prostrate Klinsmann. In the end justice was done."

Robbie Fowler : "Anyone who doesn't learn from Ian Rush needs shooting"
Bill Shankly (on Ian St.John) : "He's not just the best centre-forward in the British Isles, but the only one."

Ian St. John (on his winning goal in the 1965 FA Cup Final) : "The goal looked as big as the Mersey Tunnel"

Bob Paisley (on Billy Liddell) : "Bill was so strong it was unbelievable. You couldn't shake him off the ball. It didn't matter where he was playing, though I suppose his best position was outside-left. He could go round you, or past you, or even straight through you sometimes!"

Billy Liddell (on ex-Scotland partner, Billy Steele) : "He made it clear he couldn't care less how the team got on provided he had a good game."

Ian Callaghan (on Ronnie Moran) : "I don't know how I would have managed without him. It was a big step up playing in the first team, and I don't know how I would have coped without someone keeping an eye on me and helping me out of difficult situations. I soon learned that at Liverpool, we were essentially part of a team and depended on each other."

Bill Shankly (on Ian Callaghan) : "He typifies everything that is good in football, and he has never changed. You could stake your life on Ian."

Tommy Smith : "I said to Kevin (Keegan) 'I'll go near post' and he replied 'No, just go for the ball'."

Emlyn Hughes : "Liverpool are magic .... Everton are tragic."

Ray Clemence : "Sometimes I feel I'm hardly wanted in this Liverpool team. If I get two or three saves to make I've had a busy day."

Kevin Keegan : "The only thing I fear is missing an open goal in front of the Kop. I would die if that were to happen. When they start singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' my eyes start to water. There have been times when I've actually been crying while I've been playing".

Bob Bevan (on Tony Adams' drink-driving conviction) : "I hear Tony Adams is appealing. Apparently he wasn't pissed. He was just trying to get the wall back another 10 yards."

Joe Royle (on Earl Barrett) : "The trouble with Earl is that he's one paced .... Zooommmmm."

David Lacey (football writer for The Guardian) : "Batty would probably get himself booked playing Handel's Largo."

Graham Taylor (on Tony Daley) : "He's only got one trick, but it's a good one isn't it ?"

Joe Lovejoy (on Bruce Grobbelaar) : "The elastic eccentric."

Andy Roxburgh (on Gheorghe Hagi) : "He's a brilliant player but we're no getting all psychedelic about him."

Steve McManaman's father (1991) : "We've another boy who's ten and if he sees a tin can on his way to school, he steps over it. Steven was the opposite."

Brian Glanville (football writer) : "Molby looked corpulent enough to be playing darts for Denmark."

Hugh McIlvanney (on Jan Molby) : "Beneath the drayman's body, his feet remain as nimble as a ballet dancer's."

Tommy Docherty (on Mark Wright) : "He'd get an injury if he went on Question of Sport."

Dave Lancaster (Chesterfield striker, after their 4-4 Coke Cup draw at Anfield) : "I thought there might be eight goals but I never thought we would get four of them."

Brian Gayle (Sheffield United player, after their 2-0 victory over Liverpool in 1992) : "Beating them isn't special any more."

Anfield badge (1990) : "There's only one United - the biscuit."

Steve Coppell (Crystal palace manager, on their 1990 FA Cup semi against Liverpool) : "To be honest I thought in extra time both teams had settled for a replay. I was panicking then, because I hadn't re-booked our hotel for midweek."

Eric Cantona (Explaining his second sending off in consecutive games at Arsenal, 1994) : "The first wasn't a foul, so I thought, if they want a foul I'll give them a foul."

Peter Beardsley (1994) : "I could have signed for Newcastle when I was 17, but I decided I would be better off at Carlisle. I'd had a drink that night."

Neil Ruddock (On his love-handle weight problem, 1994) : "I was in a hotel for six months and I just couldn't get rid of it."

Gordon Strachan (On the perils of heat treatment and ice-packs, 1993) : "My bum has been through every temperature known to man."

John Scales (1993) : "For a bet I once ate three Mexican chillies. I thought I was really smart after I'd eaten them and then about 30 seconds later I came out in a serious sweat and a horrible rash. But I won the bet and took the money."

Chris Kiwomya (1993) : "Girls first; football second."

Steve McMahon (1991) : "I'd kick my own brother if necessary ... it's what being a professional footballer is all about."

Graeme Souness (On Robbie Fowler, when the press asked to talk to him [Fowler] after his 5-goal demolition of Fulham, 1993) : "He's not coming out. He says he wouldn't know what to say."

Robbie Fowler (On how he celebrated the above feat, 1993) : "After the Fulham game, I went round the chippy with my mates and got a big kiss from my mum when I got home!"

John Aldridge (On Orlando, Florida during the mega-hot World Cup, 1994) : "It gets like this in Liverpool when you're on the ferry and the sun reflects off the Mersey."

Roy Evans (On why he didn't buy Chris Sutton, 1994) : "If I'd agreed to pay a 21-year-old who hadn't played for England 12,000 pounds, I would have had 10 guys knocking on my door saying that they were full internationals and that they wanted the same money."

Doug Livermore (Then Spurs coach on Neil Ruddock, 1992) : "I think he will go on to be a great player for us."

Ron Atkinson (On why he moved from the stand to the touch line during a game in which his Aston Villa side were playing Sheffield United, 1993) : "I just wanted to give them some technical advice. I told them the game had started."

Dominik Diamond (Radio host and football columnist, 1994) : "If football was meant to be an art, God wouldn't have invented Carlton Palmer."

Bill Shankly : "Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of
controlling the ball and of making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple."

Ron Saunders : "My team won't freeze in the white-hot atmosphere of Anfield."

Ron Jones (Radio 5) : "Ian Rush is as quick as a needle."

Trevor Brooking : "Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."

Ron Atkinson : "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."

Brian Moore : "Rosenborg have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them."

Barry Davies : "Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil."

Elton Welsby : "And now for the goals at Carrow Road where it ended nil - nil."

John Helm : "Viv Anderson has pissed a fatness test."

Norman Whiteside : "The only thing I have in common with George Best is that we come from the same place ... play for the same club ... and were discovered by the same man."

Kevin Keegan : "They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different."

Elton Welsby : "Football today would certainly not be the same if it had not existed."

Stuart Pearce : "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."

John Sillett : "Venison and Butcher - they're both as brave as two peas in a pod."

A somewhat cynical Jan Aage Fjortoft : "Juninho will only need to learn three words of English : Pound, Thank You and Bye Bye."

David Coleman : "Don't tell those coming in the result of that fantastic match, but let's
have another look at Italy's winning goal."

A very perceptive Kevin Keegan : "I don't think there is anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona."

Pat Rice, Arsenal assistant manager, confirming what the rest of the footballing world thinks about his team, speaking on Radio 5 Live : "It seems our defence have been around for donkey's years."

Kevin Keegan's view of Faustino Asprilla's first game for Newcastle : "By the end he was knackered-o. I think that's the Spanish for it."

Alan Brazil, on Radio 5 Live : "The tackles are coming in thick and thin."

Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39 : "There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch."

Alex Ferguson, Manchester United manager : "You know Dennis Wise. He could start a fight in an empty house."

John Motson, BBC1 Commentator, During Euro '96 : "I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted ..."

Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game in England : "If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as hard for them."

Javier Clemente, Spanish Coach, on Scotland's 1996 Under-21 side : This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players."

Ian Wright, Arsenal striker, on Tony Adams' confession to alcoholism : "It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up."

Dave Jones (after So'ton's 4-1 defeat of Barnsley) (Talking about Carlton Palmer) : "We reckon Carlton covers every blade of grass - but then you have to if your first touch is that crap."

“I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock” – Barry Venison

“There’ll be no siestas in Madrid tonight” – Kevin Keegan

“He’s holding his right arm and signalling with his left” – John Motson

“He’s pulling off defenders’ shoulders and making it difficult for them” – Kevin Keegan

“Croatia didn’t play very well without the ball” – Barry Venison

“You feel if Chile could just organise, they could hammer Austria nil-nil” – Jon Champion

“… at this stage of the season I just tell the players to get points under their bags” – George Graham

“You wonder if the sands of time are catching up with them” – Kevin Keegan

“He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the ball” – Clive Tyldesley

“Well, Harry, fifth place last year, how can you better that ?” – Fergus Sweeney

“Martin O’Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin…” – Mike Ingham

It’s not often you see The Gingerman [Gordon Strachan] with arms crossed and hands in pockets” – match reviewer, Radio Wales

“Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseille as “brain dead louts”. This goes for me as well” – secretary of the FSA

“… he’s made endless runs into that position” – Ron Atkinson

“He says he’ll walk away from the game when his legs go” – commentator

“England bowed out of the World Cup with their heads held high last night…” – Bruce Millington

“Barnsley have started off the way they mean to begin” – Chris Kamara

“And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction” – John Motson

“Luis Figo is different to David Beckham, and vice versa” – Kevin Keegan

“I don’t want to be either partial or impartial” – Frank McLintock

“… from that moment the pendulum went into reverse” – Gerald Sinstadt

“It was still moving when it hit the back of the net” – Kevin Keegan

“He [Michael Owen] is a goal scorer, not a natural born one – not yet. That takes time” – Glenn Hoddle

“You’re not just getting international football, you’re getting world football” – Kevin Keegan

“The team [Peterborough United] must try to get their ship back on the road” – Ray Wilkins

“I was alone up front, with Danny Murphy playing between me, myself and the midfield” – Michael Owen

“That’s the 34th time he’s played for his country here tonight” – Brian Moore

“We’re in a no win situation, except if we win we’ll go through to the next round” – Graeme Le Saux

“He’d almost adopted the right position – just half a yard ahead of himself” – Peter Drury

“So, this movie you star in, The Life Story Of George Best, tell us what it’s about” – George Gavin

“Zero-zero’s a big score sometimes” – Ron Atkinson

“It’s not what Ginola does when he’s got the ball, it’s what he doesn’t do when he hasn’t got it” – Andy Gray

“We had already beaten them 4-0 and 7-0 earlier in the season, so we knew we were in for a really tough game today” – Barry Ferguson

“Man United now have a home tie at Fulham” – commentator, Granada Tonight

“There’s only one place you want to be and that’s Wembley, Old Trafford or Anfield” – Mick Channon

“Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match” – Ian Wright

“They [the Dutch defence] were still in the dressing room when they came out for the second half” – Glenn Hoddle

“It’s not quite as good as Adams’ challenge but it’s on a par” – Ron Atkinson

“Sullivan stopped everything that came his way… it’s Wimbledon 1 Manchester United 1” – Barry Davies

“Germany are a very difficult team to play… they had eleven internationals out there today” – Steve Lomas

“I think the referee should be allowed to blow up now – as a mercy killing, if you like” – Ron Atkinson

“it’s hands on hips and heads in hands for the Charlton players” – commentator, Radio 5

“Michael Owen, he’s got the legs of a salmon” – commentator, Sky TV

“It’s a conflict of parallels” – Sir Alex Ferguson

“Dunfermline have a difficult month ahead over the next 2 or 3 weeks” – Dick Campbell

“I’m not a believer in luck, although I believe you need it” – Alan Ball

'Emile Zola has scored again for Chelsea.' - Radio 5 live

'This will be their 19th consecutive game without a win unless they can get an equaliser.' - Alan Green

'Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin.'
- Mike Ingham

'Such a positive move by Uruguay - bringing 2 players off and putting 2 players on.' - John Helm

'It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the scoreline on Saturday.'
- Radio 5 live

'The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee.' - Mike Ingham

'Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.' - Barry Davies

'West Germany's Briegel hasn't been able to get past anyone yet - that's his trademark.' - John Helm

'You don't score 64 goals in 86 games without being able to score goals.' - Alan Green

'It's headed away by John Clark, using his head.' - Derek Rae

'Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve.'
- John Greig

'And with just 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.' - Ian Darke

'The USA are a goal down, and if they don't get a goal they'll lose.'
- John Helm

'I predicted in August that Celtic would reach the final. On the eve of that final I stand by that prediction.' - Archie MacPherson

'McCarthy shakes his head in agreement with the referee.' - Martin Tyler

'It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.'
- Alan Green

'Lukic saved with his foot, which is all part of the goalkeeper's arm.'
- Barry Davies

'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.' - David Acfield

'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.' - Peter Jones

'Forest have now lost six matches without winning.' - David Coleman

'When a player gets to 30, so does his body.' - Glen Hoddle

'I was a young lad when I was growing up.' - David O'Leary

'Home advantage gives you an advantage.' - Bobby Robson

'It's the only way we can lose, irrespective of the result.'
- Graham Taylor

'We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match.' - Ruud Gullit

'The philosophy of a lot of European teams, even in home matches, is not to give a goal away.' - Alex Ferguson

'In a year's time, he's a year older.' - Bobby Robson

'The first 90 minutes are the most important.' - Bobby Robson

'Shearer could be at 100% fitness, but not peak fitness.'
- Graham Taylor

'As I've said before and I've said it in the past...' - Kenny Dalglish

'He was a player that hasn't had to use his legs even when he was nineteen years of age because his first two yards were in his head.'
- Glenn Hoddle

'I've seen them on television on a Sunday morning most days of the week.' - Jack Charlton

'People always remember the second half.' - Graham Taylor

'If they hadn't scored, we would've won.' - Howard Wilkinson

'Paolo Di Canio is capable of scoring the goal he scored.'
- Bryan Robson

'It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there.' - Jack Charlton

'We keep kicking ourselves in the foot.' - Ray Wilkins

'I have a number of alternatives, and each one gives me something different.' - Glenn Hoddle

'Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them.'
- Arsene Wenger

'It wasn't going to be our day on the night.' - Bryan Robson

'Very few of us have any idea whatsoever of what life is like living in a goldfish bowl - except, of course, for those of us who are goldfish.'
- Graham Taylor

'If you can't stand the heat in the dressing room, get out of the kitchen.'
- Terry Venables

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - Ronnie Whelan

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.' - Neville Southall

'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
- Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - Stan Collymore

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.' - Ade Akinbiyi

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.'
- Ian Wright

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' - Ugo Ehiogu

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' - Ian Wright

'Leeds is a great cluband it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - Stuart Pearce

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
- David Beckham

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
- Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' - Richard Rufus

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.'
- Gary Lineker

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.' - Vinny Jones

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
- Ian Rush

Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'
- Mitchell Thomas

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
- Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.'
- Johnny Giles

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' - Thierry Henry

· The midfield is outnumbered numerically
Ron Atkinson (showing a solid grasp of the game)
· There's going to be four or five teams battling for the top six spots
Chris Waddle (ermm... are you sure about that ?)
· You only get one opportunity of an England debut
Alan Shearer
2002 World Cup Qualifier - Germany vs England
(Pre-match arrogance - or pride comes before a fall)

· I am very sure that we are going to win this game. We are as good as, if not better than, Sven Goran Eriksson's side. I am sure that we are better prepared for this match than England. We will beat England.
Franz Beckenbauer
· We don't have to worry about single players such as Michael Owen or Emile Heskey. We have a stronger team and that is what counts.
Carsten Jancker
· David Seaman is past his best. Even I would have saved that shot and I don't play football any more. I don't think Seaman has the same standing in the game as our keeper Oliver Kahn, who is better.
Sepp Maier
· Steven who? I don't know him. I am not interested in England, or who is in their squad. I don't have time. I have better things to do.
Steffen Effenberg
· In Germany we are not as stuck in the past as the English. We have always kept our nerve and gone on to beat them when it mattered most. They (England) put too much pressure on themselves and they have too much respect. I believe that Germany will win in the end, let's say 2-0.
Pierre Littbarski
· I am glad that David Beckham will be fit. Now England will have no excuses when we beat them.
Sebastian Deisler
· How are England going to win in Germany? It hasn't happened for 100 years. I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will quite clearly thrash England. They will easily qualify for the World Cup with this match.
Uli Hoeness
· Judging from his potential Deisler is a better player than Beckham. He is perfect technically, his crosses are precise, he is dangerous in front of goal, has excellent vision and he is quicker than Beckham.
Uli Stielicke
Oh... in case you don't know what happened.....
GermanyJancker 6 1 EnglandOwen 13, 48, 66Gerrard 45Heskey 74 5

· I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God, that must have been one hell of a pass.
Bob Davies (aka Jasper Carrott)
· Even if he had scored for Alaves it would have made no difference to the scoreline.
Gerry Armstrong - Sky Sports)
· ...and the Spanish champions have come all the way from Spain
Channel 5 commentator

· ...and the silence in the Bernabeu is deafening
astute commentator on Bayern Munich's away goal against Real Madrid
· Ziege hits it high for Heskey who isn't playing
Alan Green - Radio 5 Live
(suggested by David Farnan)
· ...and now it's Keane with Butt spread wide
Radio 5 Live during commentary on a Man Utd game

· That defender is very deceptive, he must be lightning slow.
Ron Atkinson (commentating at Old Trafford 21st Nov 2000)
· Lets close our eyes and see what happens...
Jimmy Greaves

· We need the players, because without the players, we don't have a team.
Howard Wilkinson (proving he knows what makes a good side)
· If God wanted us to play in the clouds, he would have put grass up there !
Brian Clough, expressing his contempt for the long ball game.

· At the beginning it was a 90 minute game, at halftime it was a 45 minute game and now it's even shorter.
ABC sports commentator at the 55 minute mark of the Women's World Cup game

· The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil and the entertainment value is not much above nil.
from Radio 5 live
· Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence.
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning
· Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.
David Acfield, commentator
· The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take us all to Eurodisney.
Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon
· I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
Stuart Pearce, Nottingham Forest

· What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal.
Jimmy Hill

· Credit card application form question : What is your position at the company ?
Jason McAteer's response : Right back.
· I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.
Mark Draper
· I'd be surprised if all 22 players are on the field at the end of the game - one's already been sent off.
George Best
· I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.
Ron Atkinson
· Jean Tigana has spent the entire first half inside Liam Brady's shorts.
Jimmy Magee
· If they hadn't scored, we would've won.
Howard Wilkinson, with an astute insight into a game that ended 1-1

· Forest have now lost six matches without winning.
David Coleman
· Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight - he's illegible.
Jimmy Armfield
· Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts. This goes for me as well.
A Phone-in Caller to "Talk Radio"
· I'm not sure Michael Owen is a natural-born goalscorer.
Glenn Hoddle, England Manager
· I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.
Ian Rush, (ex-Liverpool) when asked how he enjoyed his time at Juventus
· Fortunately, Paul Scholes' injury wasn't as bad as we'd hoped for.
Trevor Brooking
· Mark Hughes : Sparky by name, Sparky by nature. The same can be said of Brian McClair.
Brian Moore, commentator
· Pitbulls are the greatest dogs once you own one you won't want any other type,
I have 4 Pitbulls, 3 Yorkshire Terriers, and a Dobermann.
Julian Dicks, (presumably he thinks the others are Cats !)

· The match will be shown on Match of the Day this evening. If you don't want to know the result, look away now as we show you Tony Adams lifting the trophy for Arsenal.
Steve Rider, commentator
· Lombardo speaks much better English than what people realise.
Mark Goldberg, Crystal Palace chairman
· Aston Villa will play a lot worse than this and lose.
Alan Parry commentator, with an interesting viewpoint during Villa's cup defeat by Fulham
· I'm a firm believer that if the other side scores first you have to score twice to win.
Howard Wilkinson, ex-Technical Director at the F.A., proving that he knows what the game is all about
· We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden, some of whom are not even European.
Jack Charlton, ex-Manager - Republic of Ireland
· I thought I was doing quite a good job there.
Roy Hodgson, on being sacked as Blackburn's Manager
· You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw.
Kevin Keegan, commentating on Manchester United vs Monaco
· We're going to start the game at nil-nil and go out and try to get some goals.
Bryan Robson, (disclosing tactics...?)
· 'If it had gone in, it would have been a goal.
Barry Davies, commentator

· They (Rosenborg) have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them.
Brian Moore, commentator
· To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.
from the very insightful (ahem) Ruud Gullit

· For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the yellow strip.
John Motson, commentator
· Newcastle must still wish they had him to put balls on Ferguson's head.
David Mellor, (MP and football pundit) on ex-Newcastle star David Ginola's recent good form
· The game is evenly balanced in Arsenal's favour.
Alan Parry, commentator
· I am not here at the moment, If you are the President of AC Milan, Barcelona or Real Madrid I will get back to you.
Joe Kinnear's Answerphone message
· With Scott Nisbett every pass is an adventure.
Walter Smith - Rangers Manager
· He had no chance of beating Schmeichel from there... but it was always worth a try.
Alan Parry, commentator
· Schmeichel's thrown that a long way.. in fact, it's gone all the way to Dublin !
Alan Parry, on the goalkeeper's throw that reached Dion

· After tonight, England vs Argentina will be remembered for what a player did with his feet.
Adidas advert
· The World Cup is every four years, so it's going to be a perennial problem.
Gary Lineker
· Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored.
Terry Venables
· Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.
Ron Atkinson
· The Croatian's don't play well without the ball.
Barry Venison
· Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.
Kevin Keegan
· I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish.
Ian St. John
· I came to Nantes two years ago and it's very much the same, except that it's completely different.
Kevin Keegan
· Zidane is not very happy because he is suffering from the wind.
Ron Atkinson
· He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it on their faces.
Ron Atkinson
· When a game goes like this, there's only one team going to win it now, and that's England.
Kevin Keegan, after England had equalised in the 83rd minute. Final score Romania 2 England 1
· And they've got Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is.
Kevin Keegan, on the Nigerian forward who has just recovered from life threatening heart surgery. Nigeria vs Denmark 28/06/98

· Reporter: Why did you lose ?
Kenny Dalglish: Because they scored more goals than we did!

· I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of help.
Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge
· Football's not a matter of life and death... it's more important than that.
Bill Shankly
(suggested by Mike Caddey, Canada)
· If England are to win this game, they are going to have to score a goal.
Jimmy Hill - BBC
· Julian Dicks has been everywhere... it's like West Ham have got eleven Dicks out there.
Metro-City Radio

· Two Andy Gorams, there's only Two Andy Gorams....
Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers goalkeeper after he had been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia
· I've told the players we need to win, so that I can raise the cash to buy some new ones.
Chris Turner, Peterborough Manager,before the League Cup Quarter Finals in 1992.
· Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins.
Brian Moore, commentator
· I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars, the rest I just squandered.
George Best
· If we played like that every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistent.
Bryan Robson, Manchester United, 1990
· That's great, tell him he's Pele, and get him back on.
John Lambie, Partick Thistle Manager, when told his concussed striker did not know who he was
· I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs.
Andy Gray, Sky Sport

· Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league?
Roy Evans : You have to finish above everyone to win the league Richard.
· It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday.
Radio 5 Live
· Merseyside Derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different.
Trevor Brooking
· Dumbarton player Steve Cahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead.
Tom Ferrie
· And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley... unless somebody knocks us out.
Dave Bassett
· What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on the radio.
Gerry Francis
· The crowd think Todd handled the ball... they must have seen something nobody else did.
Barry Davies, commentator, 1975
· There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch.
Ron Atkinson praising Gordon Strachan, 39
· If the players want to make it hard for me, I'm happy to make it twice as hard for them.
Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game.


Amo Amas Amant Admin
Staff member
My Satellite Setup
IDD CI24 ECONO MM Penta 1.20 Galaxy II
1.2Mtr Polar MTG yes it has been on the arc for 25 years and is now fixed on 13 East using two pairs of rusty molegrips. Unlike me they never groan but always perform.
My Location
Blackburn, Lancashire
T_G said:
If the players want to make it hard for me, I'm happy to make it twice as hard for them.
Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game.
Now there's a promise for the lads


The Consumate Dreamer
Staff member
My Satellite Setup
1 GigaBlue Quad plus, 1 Dreambox 5620, MOTECK SG2100A DISEqC Motor, 120 cm noname offset dish, Humax 95 cm offset dish and a few UK digiboxes.
My Location
Somewhere where the Sauer is Kraut and the Wurst is Brat
Freak injury rules out Hammers keeper Carroll

West Ham goalkeeper Roy Carroll has been ruled out of Sunday's Premiership clash with Middlesbrough after injuring his knee in a freak training-ground accident. The Northern Ireland international was collecting balls from a goal when his foot was caught in the net, leading to the problem and giving Shaka Hislop his first start of the season following his return to Upton Park from Portsmouth in the summer.

Here we look at some other bizarre injuries sustained by players over the years.
: During his spell at Leeds the England defender managed to pick up a tendon strain in his knee watching television. Ferdinand had his foot up on a coffee table for a number of hours and ended up injuring a tendon behind his knee.
The Everton goalkeeper faced most of the summer on the sidelines after damaging his shoulder falling through a loft as he was trying to pack away his suitcases.
: The then Kidderminster captain suffered a broken nose, busted lip and bruised toes after tripping over his son's toy cars.
: The veteran goalkeeper managed to rule himself out for eight weeks in 1993 when he dropped a bottle of salad cream on his foot, severing the tendon in his big toe.
: The Spain goalkeeper missed the 2002 World Cup after accidentally shattering a bottle of aftershave in his hotel sink. A piece of glass fell on his foot, severing a tendon in his big toe.
: The American international knocked out his front teeth while pulling his golf clubs out of the boot of his car.
: The diminutive former Aston Villa full-back strained his knee by stretching to reach the accelerator in his new Ferrari. He subsequently swapped the sports car for a Rover 416.
: The England goalkeeper once pulled a muscle in his back when reaching for the television remote control and the keen angler also tweaked his shoulder when trying to land a monster carp.
: The former Northern Ireland defender broke his collarbone after falling off the shoulders of Tony Adams while celebrating the 1993 League Cup final win against Sheffield Wednesday.
: In 1975 the Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw while shouting at his defenders during a match against Birmingham.
: The Brentford goalkeeper's career came to an abrupt end in October 1970 when he collided with a sheepdog which had run onto the pitch. Brodie shattered his kneecap while the dog got the ball. ``The dog might have been a small one, but it just happened to be a solid one,'' he reflected.
: The Norway defender had to withdraw from an international during the 1970s after colliding with a moose while out jogging.
: The England star missed the 1964 tour of South America after injuring his back while brushing his teeth.
: The former Leeds and Blackburn midfielder managed to re-injure his Achilles tendon when he was run over by his toddler on a tricycle.
: The former Barnsley midfielder was sidelined for five months with a torn knee ligament after he slipped in a puddle of his puppy's urine on the kitchen floor.
LEE HODGES: The then Barnet player slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and wrenched his groin.
CHARLIE GEORGE: Arsenal's 1971 FA Cup hero managed to cut off his toe with a lawnmower.
: The Indonesian footballer was killed aged just 25 by a stampede of pigs which overran his team's training pitch in 1995.


Retired Mod
My Satellite Setup
Sky+ Pace v3, and before that analouge 80cm dish with Prima by Pace box pointed at 19.2e (not very imaginative then!)
My Location
Colchester, Essex

If only Newcastle had won it as well, I think Kev would have exploded with excitement. EVEN as a Man U fan, I've got to say it would have been the greatest title victory if they had won it.

Here's a question though - did that interview lose Newcastle the title?