salvation (slightly rude)



The Consumate Dreamer
Staff member
My Satellite Setup
1 GigaBlue Quad plus, 1 Dreambox 5620, MOTECK SG2100A DISEqC Motor, 120 cm noname offset dish, Humax 95 cm offset dish and a few UK digiboxes.
My Location
Somewhere where the Sauer is Kraut and the Wurst is Brat
It was time for Father John's Saturday evening bath
and young sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the
bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.
Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at
Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever
he told her to, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene
how the Saturday night bath had gone. "Oh, sister,"
said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked
the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked
me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided
my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord
keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now," said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that
if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven
would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation
and eternal peace and then Father John guided his Key
of Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact," said the old nun more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the
pathway to salvation was often painful and that the
glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy.
And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told
me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for
40 years!"