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A public school teacher was arrested today at Toronto Pearson International airport as he attempted to board an Air Canada flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a pocket calculator.
At a morning press conference, Conservative Attorney General Peter MacKay said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the RCMP with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. Canadians under a Conservative government, should not be exposed to concepts that might cause them to question what we tell them is true."

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Steven Harper said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." Aides in the PMO told reporters they could not ever recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister .
 
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