Recent content by arsen

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new...

Oh good, i feel better now as i was worried. :D

So why are you mad at me for. :confused:

Good : Your wife is pregnant. Bad : It's triplets. Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago. Good : Your wife's not talking to you. Bad : She wants a divorce. Ugly : She's a lawyer. Good : Your son is finally maturing. Bad : He's involved with the women next door. Ugly : So are...

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed s_x more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy s_x more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear...

25 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY NOW 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for...

The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i.e.relationships, s_x and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom...

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2 a.m., at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half way up the stairs, he falls...

:D :-righton

Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him...

Samsung Electronics: Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?". Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and...

A bloke on his way home from work comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving. He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks: "Officer what's the hold up?"...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop...

Gas trouble.