12 things about getting older

Topper

Amo Amas Amant Admin
Staff member
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
23,991
Reaction score
4,014
Points
113
Age
69
My Satellite Setup
Has gone to a good home elsewhere
My Location
Blackburn, Lancashire
1.) Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?


2.) Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


3.) The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs
.

4.) I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


5.) I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


6.) An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week
"

7.) My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


8.) Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


9.) It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.


10.) These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."


11.) Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.



12.) --- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

 

Park Royal

Regular Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2006
Messages
364
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
83
My Satellite Setup
Smart lnb, 1m Gibby dish, Stab motor, TM5200D receiver, 57east to 61west. DTT from Sudbury. Virgin Media broadband.
My Location
So called capital of Suffolk, UK.
Great m8. Is it OK to send a copy to my brother who drives an Age Concern minibus?
PR
 

dig deep

Prince of Birthdays
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2005
Messages
8,972
Reaction score
424
Points
83
My Satellite Setup
Dream7020 and AZ Elite and a few DM800
My Location
Sweden
Some good ideas here mate :)

(I´ll try to remember them lol )
 

jambro

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2005
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Points
1
Age
59
My Satellite Setup
Strong Digital Receiver
My Location
Ireland

benfica1969

amigo dos amigos
Joined
May 6, 2006
Messages
4,849
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
58
My Satellite Setup
tv,Bimbo da Bosta
My Location
london
lol yeah thats funny ! Im going to be forwarding this to all my friends thanks...
 

dig deep

Prince of Birthdays
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2005
Messages
8,972
Reaction score
424
Points
83
My Satellite Setup
Dream7020 and AZ Elite and a few DM800
My Location
Sweden
Top