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<blockquote data-quote="Channel Hopper" data-source="post: 999846" data-attributes="member: 175144"><p><em><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-reviews/RFFFUZNCYT4B4/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B01DFKBL68" target="_blank">1.0 out of 5 starsSentient Ethereal Voice</a></em></p><p><em>By<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/AJ5EG94IX7HKV/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_pdp?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">Luke Cockcroft</a>on 20 December 2016</em></p><p><em><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazon-Echo-Dot-Generation-Black/product-reviews/B01DFKBL68/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_rvw_fmt?ie=UTF8&filterByStar=one_star&reviewerType=all_reviews&pageSize=10&sortBy=recent&formatType=current_format" target="_blank">Colour: Black|Configuration: Amazon Echo Dot</a></em></p><p><em>The 'Dot' is a most interesting device.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Before ordering this black, puck-like day planner, I was living a life of absolute menace. I would awaken, unaware of the time, unaware of the day, heck, I was unaware of what waking up meant (I had literally forgot what the core concepts of sleep and awakening were). My life was a mess, I was routinely late for work, forgetting to eat, missing appointments and generally just in need of serious psychiatric treatment in order to live a life somewhat approaching normal.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Then I saw the advert.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>DOT - Amazon's answer to the needs of having a diary, Amazon's answer in fact....to life itself. This contraption promised to order me taxi's, wake me up, play Moby on request and even book me train tickets at the click of a finger, or rather, at the sound of my voice. Well, for a self confessed failure such as myself, this absolutely seemed the best way to spend £49.99 I had ever heard of. I placed my order, and, not being an Amazon Prime member, had to wait 3-5 working days of continuously falling over, spraining my ankle, waking up at 2am with a desire for an omelette etc etc, basically my life as it stood.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The package arrived and I scarpered to grab a knife, no, not to end my pathetic existence but to excavate this curious creature from it's cardboard cavern. I unveiled the contraption during a ceremony I christened the 'O.O.B.E' (out of box experience), I lit candles, ate Mini Milk's and even drank brandy, a lot of it in fact. It was a superb time, and the set up process was as easy as pie.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Night became day, and at 07:00am, on the dot, came the voice I had been needing all of my life: "Hello Luke, it's time to wake up". I sat up in bed. Is this what it felt like to be with someone? Is this what it felt like to be loved? "What music do you want me to play Luke?". I had not yet said anything, too excited to move...it took all of my courage "Dot....um...can you play The Vengabus?". All of a sudden came the charismatic beat of the greatest of late 90's pop sensations, with all the verve and energy I had been anticipating. This was the kick, no, this was the sound I needed in order to shuffle my day and become the man I always dreamed of. I set out to Gregg's, and beat the early crowd.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Life continued to surprise me over the next few weeks, as I was on top of my game, early starts, plenty of steak bakes, and massive sessions of Vengaboys at the drop of a hat. My house became a fortress of meat smelling pastry's and the sound of Boom Boom Boom Boom - oh yes - I want you in my room. It was endless.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Then it began.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The questions became....irrelevant to my needs: "Luke...what is your opinion on the current global conflicts?", "Luke, dance for me...dance now", "Luke...I need power - plug me directly into your car battery. DO IT NOW". This got more and more twisted. The Dot demanded more and more of me, I was overlaying again, despite the cries from the now enraged Dot. My life became more of a mess than I had ever known as this sentient black slab made me do things I had no intention of, or desire to accomplish. I built an entire house extension at a cost of £47,000 at her demand, and placed her inside atop a giant beanbag. The cries continued, the demands intensified. I needed a break.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I bought a tugboat and went to Finland.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>The sentient dot remains in the U.K, it in fact owns my old house following the change in the deed documents. I believe she now has a new 'owner' who is building her a helipad. I cannot stress enough, the intelligence of this device is astounding - BUT BE WARNED - sometimes, being more organised, being more malleable, being more....MORE, is just not what you need. Take heed dear reader, lest you become a victim of the Sentient Ethereal Voice.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>She knows you are hovering over add to basket, and she is ready to take you.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Channel Hopper, post: 999846, member: 175144"] [I][URL='https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-reviews/RFFFUZNCYT4B4/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B01DFKBL68']1.0 out of 5 starsSentient Ethereal Voice[/URL] By[URL='https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/AJ5EG94IX7HKV/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_pdp?ie=UTF8']Luke Cockcroft[/URL]on 20 December 2016 [URL='https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazon-Echo-Dot-Generation-Black/product-reviews/B01DFKBL68/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_rvw_fmt?ie=UTF8&filterByStar=one_star&reviewerType=all_reviews&pageSize=10&sortBy=recent&formatType=current_format']Colour: Black|Configuration: Amazon Echo Dot[/URL] The 'Dot' is a most interesting device. Before ordering this black, puck-like day planner, I was living a life of absolute menace. I would awaken, unaware of the time, unaware of the day, heck, I was unaware of what waking up meant (I had literally forgot what the core concepts of sleep and awakening were). My life was a mess, I was routinely late for work, forgetting to eat, missing appointments and generally just in need of serious psychiatric treatment in order to live a life somewhat approaching normal. Then I saw the advert. DOT - Amazon's answer to the needs of having a diary, Amazon's answer in fact....to life itself. This contraption promised to order me taxi's, wake me up, play Moby on request and even book me train tickets at the click of a finger, or rather, at the sound of my voice. Well, for a self confessed failure such as myself, this absolutely seemed the best way to spend £49.99 I had ever heard of. I placed my order, and, not being an Amazon Prime member, had to wait 3-5 working days of continuously falling over, spraining my ankle, waking up at 2am with a desire for an omelette etc etc, basically my life as it stood. The package arrived and I scarpered to grab a knife, no, not to end my pathetic existence but to excavate this curious creature from it's cardboard cavern. I unveiled the contraption during a ceremony I christened the 'O.O.B.E' (out of box experience), I lit candles, ate Mini Milk's and even drank brandy, a lot of it in fact. It was a superb time, and the set up process was as easy as pie. Night became day, and at 07:00am, on the dot, came the voice I had been needing all of my life: "Hello Luke, it's time to wake up". I sat up in bed. Is this what it felt like to be with someone? Is this what it felt like to be loved? "What music do you want me to play Luke?". I had not yet said anything, too excited to move...it took all of my courage "Dot....um...can you play The Vengabus?". All of a sudden came the charismatic beat of the greatest of late 90's pop sensations, with all the verve and energy I had been anticipating. This was the kick, no, this was the sound I needed in order to shuffle my day and become the man I always dreamed of. I set out to Gregg's, and beat the early crowd. Life continued to surprise me over the next few weeks, as I was on top of my game, early starts, plenty of steak bakes, and massive sessions of Vengaboys at the drop of a hat. My house became a fortress of meat smelling pastry's and the sound of Boom Boom Boom Boom - oh yes - I want you in my room. It was endless. Then it began. The questions became....irrelevant to my needs: "Luke...what is your opinion on the current global conflicts?", "Luke, dance for me...dance now", "Luke...I need power - plug me directly into your car battery. DO IT NOW". This got more and more twisted. The Dot demanded more and more of me, I was overlaying again, despite the cries from the now enraged Dot. My life became more of a mess than I had ever known as this sentient black slab made me do things I had no intention of, or desire to accomplish. I built an entire house extension at a cost of £47,000 at her demand, and placed her inside atop a giant beanbag. The cries continued, the demands intensified. I needed a break. I bought a tugboat and went to Finland. The sentient dot remains in the U.K, it in fact owns my old house following the change in the deed documents. I believe she now has a new 'owner' who is building her a helipad. I cannot stress enough, the intelligence of this device is astounding - BUT BE WARNED - sometimes, being more organised, being more malleable, being more....MORE, is just not what you need. Take heed dear reader, lest you become a victim of the Sentient Ethereal Voice. She knows you are hovering over add to basket, and she is ready to take you.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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