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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
Butcher's Dog
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<blockquote data-quote="waverider" data-source="post: 32500" data-attributes="member: 176800"><p>The owner of a well trained Alsatian dog sends his mutt down to the butchers with a basket in it’s mouth to do his shopping, the dog trots into the butchers, places the basket on the floor and produces a note in his jaw to the somewhat amazed Butcher. The butcher reads it and replies ‘‘so your master needs 2lb of mince & 8 sausages’’. So starting with the mincemeat the butcher thinks ‘’Let’s see how really smart this dog is!’’ and so instead of 2lb of mince he weighs up 1 ½lb wraps it up and then goes to put it the basket, the Alsatian look’s up at him and start’s growling! the Butcher back’s away from the dog and at his scale’s adds the other ½ 1b, wraps it back up then places the mince into the basket. This time the Alsation is ok. Next the Butcher reaches up to the meat hook and takes down 8 sausages but omits 2 wraps up 6 goes to the basket the dog begins to growl at him again! ‘’Bloody hell!’’ he thinks, ''this dog is pretty smart''. And so adds the other two sausages wrap's them up and everything is ok. Next the Alsatian puts his nose into the basket and in his jaw produces a £10.00 note, the Butcher ring’s up £4.00 and thinks ‘’This dog cant be this smart, I’ll short change him!’’ and so goes to place £3.00 change into the basket….. This time the Alsatian is looking really mean, growling and foaming at the mouth!’’Bloody Hell!’’ thinks the Butcher. ‘’He can even count currency!’’ so the Butcher corrects the change and places it into the basket…. On doing this the dog then pick’s the shopping up and trot’s out of the shop. The Butcher meanwhile thinks ‘’I want to find out who owns such a well trained smart dog,’’. So decides to follow the dog to It’s home. After running down many street’s and round many corner’s eventually the dog trot’s up the garden path to where it lives, places the basket on the front door step then stands up on his back legs and with his paw presses the front door bell. Suddenly the door burst’s open and as the Alsatian walks in with the basket in it's mouth the angry owner swiftly kick’s the poor mutt right up the bollocks! The Butcher shouts out,’’EXCUSE ME MATE, THAT’S A PRETTY SMART DOG YOU GOT THERE, WHY DID YOU JUST KICK HIM IN THE NUT’S?’’…The owner shouts back ‘’ HE AINT THAT SMART…. THAT’S TWICE THIS WEEK HE’S FORGOTTEN HIS BLOODY FRONT DOOR KEY!’’</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="waverider, post: 32500, member: 176800"] The owner of a well trained Alsatian dog sends his mutt down to the butchers with a basket in it’s mouth to do his shopping, the dog trots into the butchers, places the basket on the floor and produces a note in his jaw to the somewhat amazed Butcher. The butcher reads it and replies ‘‘so your master needs 2lb of mince & 8 sausages’’. So starting with the mincemeat the butcher thinks ‘’Let’s see how really smart this dog is!’’ and so instead of 2lb of mince he weighs up 1 ½lb wraps it up and then goes to put it the basket, the Alsatian look’s up at him and start’s growling! the Butcher back’s away from the dog and at his scale’s adds the other ½ 1b, wraps it back up then places the mince into the basket. This time the Alsation is ok. Next the Butcher reaches up to the meat hook and takes down 8 sausages but omits 2 wraps up 6 goes to the basket the dog begins to growl at him again! ‘’Bloody hell!’’ he thinks, ''this dog is pretty smart''. And so adds the other two sausages wrap's them up and everything is ok. Next the Alsatian puts his nose into the basket and in his jaw produces a £10.00 note, the Butcher ring’s up £4.00 and thinks ‘’This dog cant be this smart, I’ll short change him!’’ and so goes to place £3.00 change into the basket….. This time the Alsatian is looking really mean, growling and foaming at the mouth!’’Bloody Hell!’’ thinks the Butcher. ‘’He can even count currency!’’ so the Butcher corrects the change and places it into the basket…. On doing this the dog then pick’s the shopping up and trot’s out of the shop. The Butcher meanwhile thinks ‘’I want to find out who owns such a well trained smart dog,’’. So decides to follow the dog to It’s home. After running down many street’s and round many corner’s eventually the dog trot’s up the garden path to where it lives, places the basket on the front door step then stands up on his back legs and with his paw presses the front door bell. Suddenly the door burst’s open and as the Alsatian walks in with the basket in it's mouth the angry owner swiftly kick’s the poor mutt right up the bollocks! The Butcher shouts out,’’EXCUSE ME MATE, THAT’S A PRETTY SMART DOG YOU GOT THERE, WHY DID YOU JUST KICK HIM IN THE NUT’S?’’…The owner shouts back ‘’ HE AINT THAT SMART…. THAT’S TWICE THIS WEEK HE’S FORGOTTEN HIS BLOODY FRONT DOOR KEY!’’ [/QUOTE]
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Butcher's Dog
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