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<blockquote data-quote="Topper" data-source="post: 384865" data-attributes="member: 186250"><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">A typical 40 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> nothing, only bananas and coconuts.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">when my cruise ship sank."</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> with you."</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and the stern came</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> from a Eucalyptus tree."</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"But, where did you get the tools?"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> iron. </span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">The guy is stunned.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"Let's row over to my place," she says.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">As they walks into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> drop of coconut juice."</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> you like a Pina Colada?"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> down on her couch to talk. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">After they have exchanged their stories, the</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable". Would</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> bathroom cabinet."</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There,</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines,</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows</span></span> <span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports"</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Topper, post: 384865, member: 186250"] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]A typical 40 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] with you." "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and the stern came[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] iron. [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walks into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] you like a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] down on her couch to talk. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]After they have exchanged their stories, the[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable". Would[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There,[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines,[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=navy][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes. "Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports"[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#00005B][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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