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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
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<blockquote data-quote="dig deep" data-source="post: 579343" data-attributes="member: 196054"><p>The last one´s, I promise <img src="https://www.satellites.co.uk/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/smile.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 4th?</p><p>WITNESS: Yes.</p><p>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?</p><p>WITNESS: Getting laid</p><p>____________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?</p><p>WITNESS: Yes.</p><p>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?</p><p>WITNESS: None.</p><p>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?</p><p>WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. </p><p>Can I get a new attorney?</p><p>____________________________________________</p><p>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?</p><p>WITNESS: By death.</p><p>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?</p><p>WITNESS: Take a guess.</p><p></p><p>____________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?</p><p>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.</p><p>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?</p><p>WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.</p><p>_____________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?</p><p>WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.</p><p>______________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?</p><p>WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.</p><p>_________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? </p><p>What school did you go to?</p><p>WITNESS: Oral.</p><p>_________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?</p><p>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.</p><p>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?</p><p>WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.</p><p>____________________________________________</p><p></p><p>ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?</p><p>WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dig deep, post: 579343, member: 196054"] The last one´s, I promise :) ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 4th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? [/QUOTE]
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