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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
HOME SCHOOLED
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<blockquote data-quote="Topper" data-source="post: 840421" data-attributes="member: 186250"><p><span style="font-size: 18px">Most of our generation were, in many ways, HOME SCHOOLED ...</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"> 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">2. My mother taught me RELIGION. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">4. My father taught me LOGIC. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">" Because I said so, that's why." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">7. My father taught me IRONY. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">10. My mother taught me about STAMINA . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">14.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Stop acting like your father!" </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">15. My mother taught me about ENVY. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Just wait until we get home." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"You are going to get it when you get home!" </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">19. My mother taught me ESP. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">20. My father taught me HUMOUR. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">22. My mother taught me GENETICS. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"You're just like your father." </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a field?" </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">24. My mother taught me WISDOM. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"> 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE . </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Topper, post: 840421, member: 186250"] [SIZE=18px]Most of our generation were, in many ways, HOME SCHOOLED ...[/SIZE] [SIZE=18px] 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]2. My mother taught me RELIGION. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]4. My father taught me LOGIC. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]" Because I said so, that's why." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]7. My father taught me IRONY. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Shut your mouth and eat your supper." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]10. My mother taught me about STAMINA . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"[/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]14.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Stop acting like your father!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]15. My mother taught me about ENVY. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Just wait until we get home." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"You are going to get it when you get home!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]19. My mother taught me ESP. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]20. My father taught me HUMOUR. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]22. My mother taught me GENETICS. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"You're just like your father." [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a field?" [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]24. My mother taught me WISDOM. [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.[/SIZE] [SIZE=18px] 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE . [/SIZE] [SIZE=18px]"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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HOME SCHOOLED
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