Hospital Charts

DSM

Member
My Satellite Setup
Technomate 1500CI super, 78cm solid dish, 0.2db LNB, HP Pentium4 PC with XP Home. Foretec Star Lifetime Diamond (more trouble than it's worth)
My Location
Merseyside
O-Ha Actual writings on hospital charts.
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1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the
third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She
also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began
seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,
mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most

of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car
for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
suppose these make more sense if you've just pulled a 36-hour shift without lunch.

!
 
Very nice. In the same vein, my father used to train medical secretaries. During the dictation portion he would always have them write: "The patient was placed in a below knee cast." He would invariably get someone who wrote that the "patient was placed in a bologna cast." Sounds delicious!
 
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