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<blockquote data-quote="Topper" data-source="post: 110783" data-attributes="member: 186250"><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Incase you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:</span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">1) On a blanket from Taiwan-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION AGAINST A TORNADO</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">2) On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">REMEMBER OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">3) On a Taiwanese shampoo-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">4) On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">5) On a New Zealand insect spray-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">THIS PRODUCT IS NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">6) In a US guide to setting up a new computer-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM </span></span></span><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">7) On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PROPORTION </span></span></span><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL, FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">8) In some countries, on the bottom of coke bottles-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">OPEN AT OTHER END</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">9) On a Sears hairdryer-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">10) On a bag of Fritos-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">YOU COULD BE A WINNER!! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. </span></span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(The shoplifter special!)</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">11) On a bar of Dial soap-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(And that would be how?)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">12) On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box)</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Too late you lose!!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">13) On Marks and Spencer’s bread pudding-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Are you sure? lets experiment!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">15) On a Korean kitchen knife-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Damn!!!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">16) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">FOR INDOORS AND OUTDOORS USE ONLY</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(As apposed to what? use in outer space?!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">17) On a Japanese food processor-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Now I’m curious!!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">18) On Sainsburys peanuts-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">WARNING-CONTAINS NUTS.</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Really? peanuts contain nuts?)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">19) On an American airlines packet of nuts-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">INSTRUCTIONS-OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(I’m glad they cleared that up.)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">20) On a Swedish chainsaw-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(What kind of consumer-call led to this warning?!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">21) On a child’s superman costume-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(That’s right! destroy a universal childhood fantasy!!)</span></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">22) On some frozen dinners-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">SURVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">23) On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">FITS ONE HEAD</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">24) On the packaging for a Rowenta iron-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">25) On Boots "children’s" cough medicine-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY WITHIN 2 HOURS OF TAKEN THIS MEDICINE</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">26) On nightly sleep aid-</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS</span></span></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">(Duh!!)</span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Topper, post: 110783, member: 186250"] [color=purple][font=Arial][size=3]Incase you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through [/size][/font][/color] [color=purple][font=Arial][size=3]stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]1) On a blanket from Taiwan-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION AGAINST A TORNADO[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]2) On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]REMEMBER OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [font=Arial][size=3]3) On a Taiwanese shampoo-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]4) On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]5) On a New Zealand insect spray-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]THIS PRODUCT IS NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]6) In a US guide to setting up a new computer-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM [/size][/font][/color][color=red][font=Arial][size=3]TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING[/size][/font][/color] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]7) On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PROPORTION [/size][/font][/color][color=red][font=Arial][size=3]LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL, FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]8) In some countries, on the bottom of coke bottles-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]OPEN AT OTHER END[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]9) On a Sears hairdryer-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]10) On a bag of Fritos-[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3][color=#ff0000]YOU COULD BE A WINNER!! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. [/color][/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3](The shoplifter special!)[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3]11) On a bar of Dial soap-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP[/size][/font][/color] [b][font=Arial][size=3](And that would be how?)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]12) On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box)[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3][color=#ff0000]DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.[/color][/size][/font] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Too late you lose!!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]13) On Marks and Spencer’s bread pudding-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Are you sure? lets experiment!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]15) On a Korean kitchen knife-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN[/size][/font][/color] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Damn!!!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]16) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]FOR INDOORS AND OUTDOORS USE ONLY[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [b][font=Arial][size=3](As apposed to what? use in outer space?!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]17) On a Japanese food processor-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Now I’m curious!!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]18) On Sainsburys peanuts-[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3][color=#ff0000]WARNING-CONTAINS NUTS.[/color][/size][/font] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Really? peanuts contain nuts?)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]19) On an American airlines packet of nuts-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]INSTRUCTIONS-OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [b][font=Arial][size=3](I’m glad they cleared that up.)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]20) On a Swedish chainsaw-[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3][color=#ff0000]DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.[/color][/size][/font] [b][font=Arial][size=3](What kind of consumer-call led to this warning?!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]21) On a child’s superman costume-[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3][color=#ff0000]WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.[/color][/size][/font] [b][font=Arial][size=3](That’s right! destroy a universal childhood fantasy!!)[/size][/font][/b] [font=Arial][size=3]22) On some frozen dinners-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]SURVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [font=Arial][size=3]23) On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]FITS ONE HEAD[/size][/font][/color] [font=Arial][size=3]24) On the packaging for a Rowenta iron-[/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3][color=#ff0000]DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=3]25) On Boots "children’s" cough medicine-[/size][/font] [size=3][color=red][font=Arial]DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY WITHIN 2 HOURS OF TAKEN THIS MEDICINE[/font][/color][font=Arial].[/font][/size] [font=Arial][size=3]26) On nightly sleep aid-[/size][/font] [color=red][font=Arial][size=3]WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS[/size][/font][/color] [b][font=Arial][size=3](Duh!!)[/size][/font][/b] [/QUOTE]
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