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Marriage or .....
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<blockquote data-quote="dig deep" data-source="post: 634156" data-attributes="member: 196054"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>You have two choices in life: </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>You can stay single and be miserable, </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>or get married and wish you were dead.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong> </p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal"><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal"><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: teal"><span style="color: teal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>"Husband Wanted". </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Next day she received a hundred letters.</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>They all said the same thing:</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>"You can have mine." </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>W</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>hen a man steals your wife</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>A little boy asked his father,</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: olive"><span style="color: olive"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'">A young son asked,</span></span></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'">"Is it true Dad, that in some</span></span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'">parts of Africa </span></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'">a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"</span></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'">Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." </span></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Then there was a woman who said,</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple"><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>and by then, it was too late. </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>If you want your spouse to listen and </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.</strong></span></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"> </span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: green"><span style="color: green"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.. </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 9px"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: fuchsia"><span style="color: fuchsia"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: fuchsia"><span style="color: fuchsia"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong><strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: red"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! </strong></span></span></span></span></u></strong></p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." </strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><strong>The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the **** up."</strong></span></span></span></span></span></strong> </p><p> </p><p></p><p>I think I will stick to the .... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite13" alt=":-rofl2" title="roll on floor :-rofl2" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":-rofl2" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dig deep, post: 634156, member: 196054"] [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=teal][COLOR=teal][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=1][FONT=Trebuchet MS] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]W[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]hen a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=1][FONT=Trebuchet MS] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS]A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS]parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=1][FONT=Trebuchet MS] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][FONT=Trebuchet MS] [/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=1][FONT=Trebuchet MS] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=fuchsia][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the **** up."[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] I think I will stick to the .... :-rofl2 [/QUOTE]
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