Quick quips

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As one of the forum " jokers " I´d love to know every ones best " one line response " ( you have to state the circumstances that caused it ) Fun for Christmas
 
Mmmmm, tricky...
 
OK, historically reported, cannot confirm, I was not there at the time.

" Sir winston, you´re drunk"

" Madame, you´re ugly, but I´ll be sober in the morning "
 
Two parrots on a perch.

One says 'Can you smell fish ?"
 
Recently on a Brittany expat forum someone has been posting very old "jokes" that would make Bernard Manning look politically correct. I pointed this out and got the reply "Thanks for the education, can't understand why you read a joke thread"....in reply to which I wrote, "I was expecting it to be funny"......
 
Engineer (scouser) I used to work with was visiting a German supplier and on seeing a picture of a WW2 bomber on the guy's wall quipped; 'There's one of those at the bottom of our garden.'
 
OK, historically reported, cannot confirm, I was not there at the time.
Supposedly between Churchill and either Bessie Braddock or Nancy, Lady Astor, depending on where you've read it.

Another Winston Churchill / Lady Astor exchange:

Lady Astor:
If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.

Churchill:
Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!
 
Engineer (scouser) I used to work with was visiting a German supplier and on seeing a picture of a WW2 bomber on the guy's wall quipped; 'There's one of those at the bottom of our garden.'

Reminds me of the time my ex line manager was on a tour of Dresden and commented to the German guide on the modern clean lines of the architecture they were passing and why there were no old buildings among them........................
 
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