Striking up a conversation

Topper

Topper

Amo Amas Amant Admin
Staff member
My Satellite Setup
Has gone to a good home elsewhere
My Location
Blackburn, Lancashire
I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Tescos and was
standing in the queue at the check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food??
 
I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Tescos and was
standing in the queue at the check-out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food??
 
Apparently dog food can be fed to some local wildlife, not that I'm that interested, but my Mother buys it, and she hasn't got a dog, but was informed that it's good for feeding hedgehogs.
If she stopped watching these nature shows she'd be a lot richer and have more free time, she seems to feed half the English wildlife, and she only has a small garden:)
 
Apparently dog food can be fed to some local wildlife, not that I'm that interested, but my Mother buys it, and she hasn't got a dog, but was informed that it's good for feeding hedgehogs.
If she stopped watching these nature shows she'd be a lot richer and have more free time, she seems to feed half the English wildlife, and she only has a small garden:)
 
Topper thanks for that one, we thought that was great

Regards
gsteigwiler
 
Topper thanks for that one, we thought that was great

Regards
gsteigwiler
 
Topper said:
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.
Click to expand...

I'm convinced that this part has nothing to do with the joke but is Toppers new hobby:)
 
Topper said:
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.
Click to expand...

I'm convinced that this part has nothing to do with the joke but is Toppers new hobby:)
 
Mickha said:
I'm convinced that this part has nothing to do with the joke but is Toppers new hobby:)
Click to expand...


It used to called chicken when I was younger but I'm too old to run now:-rofl2

Oh and I don't actually have any dogs
 
Mickha said:
I'm convinced that this part has nothing to do with the joke but is Toppers new hobby:)
Click to expand...


It used to called chicken when I was younger but I'm too old to run now:-rofl2

Oh and I don't actually have any dogs
 
Have a look at Death Race 2000, now that's how to play chicken:)
 
Have a look at Death Race 2000, now that's how to play chicken:)
 
I like your style Topper :) Last week when I was at the check out, this dumb looking essex girl wearing too much make up ask me if I wanted a bag? I replied with wit saying "No thanks got one of them at home!" Her expression on my reply was like all the lights are on but no one's home! The woman standing behind me nearly wet herself laughing!
 
I like your style Topper :) Last week when I was at the check out, this dumb looking essex girl wearing too much make up ask me if I wanted a bag? I replied with wit saying "No thanks got one of them at home!" Her expression on my reply was like all the lights are on but no one's home! The woman standing behind me nearly wet herself laughing!
 
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