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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes
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<blockquote data-quote="madpup" data-source="post: 74206" data-attributes="member: 185131"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">----------------------------------------</span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Note: from Madpup:</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> These will also be good for Swedes, Germans and Essex girls..</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Gifted!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">2. Q: How do blonde braincells die?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Alone.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">3. </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Artificial intelligence.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">6. Q: How does a blonde part their hair?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: By doing the splits.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Nothing. They've never met.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: After a dye job.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: She'd just dyed her hair.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> too much.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You can park in the handicap zone.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An IN-body experience!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">15. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They both get ****ed up when they're on their back.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">16. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Put either of 'em in a car and their ****ed.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">17. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Humpme Dumpme.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Shine a torch in her ears.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It takes too long to retrain them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: There's white-out on the screen.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: There's writing on the white-out.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">22. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">23. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> down on you.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">25. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">26. Q: How do you kill a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">27. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> little packages.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">29. Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: All you can eat, under a buck.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">30. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">31. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: They can't find the zipper.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A2: They cant find the pull tab.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">32. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">33. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To put their feet through.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">34. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Her ankles.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">35. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because red means stop.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">36. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">37. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">38. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They chip their teeth.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">39. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They make good ankle warmers.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">40. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Remove their underwear.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">41. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Cause their balls show!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">42. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">43. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">44. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She was run over by the zambonis machine. </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">45. Q: What's a brunette's mating call?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Has that blonde gone yet?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">46: Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can spell it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">47. Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> effect in Canada)</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can spell it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">48. Q: What is 74 to a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: 69 plus G.S.T.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Toes Go In First.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">50. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Tits Go In Front.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">51. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An interpreter.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">52. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A mental block.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">53. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: Blow in her ear.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Buy her another beer.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">54. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Have another beer."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">55. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">56. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: Introduces themself.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Walks home.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">57. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Fertilized.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">58. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Unfertilized.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">59. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after s_x?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Opens the car door.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">60. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after s_x?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Kick open the car door.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">61. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: More head room.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">62. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: More leg room.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">63. Q: What is the worst thing about s_x with a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Bucket seats.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">64. Q: What do blondes say after s_x?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: "Thanks, Guys!"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: "Are you boys all in the same band?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: Do you guys all play for the <team name>?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A4: Who were all those guys?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">65. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because everybody gets a turn.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">66. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because she's been laid all over the country.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">67. Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having s_x?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">68. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: *Who cares?*</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">69. Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So they know when to stop having s_x!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">70. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: She drops her nail-file!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Who cares?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: She says, "Next".</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A6: I mean, who really cares?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A7: The batteries have run out.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">71. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Thanks for the refill!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">72. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Data transfer.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">73. Q: Why do blondes use tapons with extra long strings?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">74. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> what she did with her pencil.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">75. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> nametag) ?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">76. Q: Why do blondes have more fun?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: Because they don't know any better.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: They are easier to keep amused.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">77. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: "What's a lightbulb?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">78. Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">79. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A wine cellar.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">80. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Peroxide.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">81. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They're doing research on black holes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">82. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: They both have a black box.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Both have a cockpit.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">83. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Not everyone has been in a 747.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">84. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Not everybody has been in a limo.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">85. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">86. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Are you sure it's mine?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">87. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A wind tunnel.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">88. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A dope ring.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">89. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Who picks it up?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> wrapper.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">90. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To see what was on the other side.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">91. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Pull the pin and throw it back.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">92. Q: Why do blondes take the pill?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So they know what day of the week it is.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">93. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because it kept falling out.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">94. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">95. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> ground first?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">96. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Her IQ goes up!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">97. Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">98. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">99. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">100. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Butter is difficult to spread.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">101. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> three holes to poke.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A4: You don't eat your bowling ball</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">102. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">103. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">104. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Bigfoot has been spotted.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">105. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">106. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">107. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> York?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">108. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> won't follow you around for a week.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">109. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">110. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">111. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They're both empty from the neck up.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">112. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They both wriggle when you eat them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">113. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So she could lip read.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">114. Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They both have black roots.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">115. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Sweet **** All...</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">116. Q: How do you drown a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Don't tell her to swallow.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">117. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">118. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">119. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">120. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">121. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">122. Q: What's the blonde's cheer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">123. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Change.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">124. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">125. Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because you don't have to marry them for s_x!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">126. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">127. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">128. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She threw it off a cliff.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">129. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She drowns it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">130. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> puzzle in only 6 months?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">131. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Nice tits!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">132. Q: How does a blonde high-5?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She smacks herself in the forehead.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">133. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">134. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">135. Q: Why do blondes have legs? </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">136. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and come home?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> television.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">137. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: The blonde!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: The other guys waiting their turn.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">138. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Flattered.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">139. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">140. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> up by "the fuzz"?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">141. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Frosted Flakes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">142. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Frosted Flakes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">143. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A 69 interrupted by a period.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">144. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> a terrorist?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">145. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">146. Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">147. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they always burn their nipples.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">148. Q: Did you hear about the blonde mature content?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She kept having affairs with men!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">149. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To cover up the valve stem.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">150. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Spot.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">151. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A Space Invader.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">152. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Air Supply.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">153. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The back of her head.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">154. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">155. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">156. Q: Why did God create blondes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Q: Why did God create brunettes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Neither could the blondes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">157. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Branch Manager.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">158. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She fell out of the tree.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">159. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> if they're going to work or coming home.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">160. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A blonde electrician.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">161. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: So brunettes can remember them.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: So men can understand them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">162. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">163. Q: What do you call a smart blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: A golden retriever.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: A labrador.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">164. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">165. Q: Why do blondes have periods?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They deserve them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">166. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">167. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">168. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">169. Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She liked to be filled with cream.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">170. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">171. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">172. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: By the ears.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">173. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">174. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">175. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Proofreading.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">176. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: For throwing out the W's.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">177. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">178. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Last year's hide and seek champ.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">179. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">180. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> pygmies?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">181. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: One's a busy ditch.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">182. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">183. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">184. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">185. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">186. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">187. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The nympho says, "Are you done already?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">188. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Tell her she's pregnant.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Q: What will she ask you?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Is it mine?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">189. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An air bag.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">190. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> drives a car?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Cause she blows the horn!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">191. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">192. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To turn the blinker off.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">193. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">194. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> varoom...screech.....?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> red light.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">195. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">196. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> in their car at a drive-in movie theater?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">197. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: By the buckle print on her forehead.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">198. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> forehead.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">199. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She can't say "No".</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">200. Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Retardo.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">201. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A visitor.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">202. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">203. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">204. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">205. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Perri-air.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">206. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">207. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">208. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">209. Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The Air Pump!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">210. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">211. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because she got an F in s_x.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">212. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">213. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: I don't know.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> R: Neither did she.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">214. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She missed.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">215. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> where the sun went ? It finally dawned on her.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">216. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> had cleaned 43 restrooms.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">217. How about the suicide blonde,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> she dyed by her own hand.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">218. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> looks up, and says, "Where?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">219. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> wrong way on a one-way street.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Cop: Do you know where you were going?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> people were leaving.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">220. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Driver's licence? What's that?..."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "It's a little card with your picture on it."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Oh, duh! Here it is..."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "May I have your car insurance?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "What's that?..."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> exclaims:</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">221. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> could do without the ironing lady.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to **** me properly we could do</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> without the gardener.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">222. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">223. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> them decides to call 911:</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> a light bulb.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: Yes.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Operator: The power in the house in on?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: Of course.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Operator: And the switch is on?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: Yes, yes.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: No, it's working fine.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Operator: Then what's the problem?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> we all fell and hurt ourselves.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">224. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He wanted to know who the other man was...</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">225. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> tired to go on, so she drowned.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">226. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> you finger out, I'll sink?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">227. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig, and one</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> half hour later they were both killed by a train.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">228. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can **** and</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">229. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> their Mercedes with a coat hanger.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> to rain and the top is down!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">230. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> hit me right in the face!!!" </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Or: "Good thing that cows don't fly."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">231. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Heaven, you have to pass a test."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me!</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Andy tells me..."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">232. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">233. A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">234. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> bartender:</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Bartender:"What is a B and C?".</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Bartender: "What's a G and T?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Redhead: "Gin and tonic."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: "I'll have a 15."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Bartender: "What's a 15?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Blonde: "7 and 7"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">235. A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> just don't remember who with.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">236. Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">237. ... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> slogan "Billions Served - just today"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">238. Q. How can you tell that a blonde's having a bad day.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A. She has a tampon tucked under her year, and she can't find her pencil.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">239. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">240. Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An air bag.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">241. Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It's too hard to re-train them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">242. Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Their heels.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">243. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They don't know the route.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">244. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">245. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">246. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Thirty minutes of begging.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">247. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">248. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">249. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">250. Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Ming vase?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">251. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">252. Q: How do you plant dope?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Bury a blonde.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">253. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">254. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Wave to her.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">255. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">256. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: And I thought blondes were dumb!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">257. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A know-it-all bitch.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">258. Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> skinny blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: One's a phony buck.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">259. Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> a magician?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">260. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: One that never misses a period.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">261. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An Italian suppository. </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">262. Q: Why don't a blondes guts fall out of her silly when she stands?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">263. Q: What's the difference between having s_x with a blonde and</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> eating Jell-o?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">264. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> stop until it gets blood.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">265. Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She was having sunny periods. </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">266. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Her feet!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">267. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: When she farts, her knees bag.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">268. Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Marriage.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">269. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">270. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">271. Q: How do you confuse a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You don't. They're born that way.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">272. Q: How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Marry her.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">273. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The cow fell on her.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">274. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Bobbing for french fries.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">275. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She has a checkbook.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">276. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: There is a stamp on it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">277. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">278. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> PMS?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Lipstick.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">279. Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">n like blonde jokes??</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can understand them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They think someone is taking their picture.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> flat forehead?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: From eating with forks.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: From dating blonde men.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Wishful Thinking.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">287. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">288. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">289. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: They can't remember the number.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A brunette with bad breath. </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Reservations.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They pull up their pants.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Air bubbles.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">294. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> street corner?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">295. Q: What do you call a blonde mature content?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A waste.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An air mattress.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Divorcee'</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> four bucks.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">299. Q: What does a blonde owl say?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: What, what?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A brain tumor.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">280. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can understand them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They think someone is taking their picture.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> flat forehead?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: From eating with forks.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: From dating blonde men.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Wishful Thinking.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">287. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">288. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">289. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: They can't remember the number.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A brunette with bad breath. </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Reservations.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They pull up their pants.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Air bubbles.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">294. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> street corner?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">295. Q: What do you call a blonde mature content?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A waste.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: An air mattress.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Divorcee'</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> four bucks.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">299. Q: What does a blonde owl say?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: What, what?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A brain tumor.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">301. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Two brunettes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">302. Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They both got ****ed by 10 men whilst on holiday.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Q2: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: He knows who the ten men were.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">303. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To see what was on the other side.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">304. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Too many blondes were drowning.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">305. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">306. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: From crawling across the street when the sign said</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "DON'T WALK".</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">307. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: In case she locks the keys in her car.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">308. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">309. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because she loved children.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">310. Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> who would die first?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> stop and ask for directions.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">311. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Grade 4.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">312. What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: Third Grade.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">313. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">314. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: 144 blondes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">315. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">316. Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">317. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">318. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They both drip when they're ****ed.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">319. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?:</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">320. Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It swells at night.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">321. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">322. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> cut it in six or twelve pieces.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">323. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe s_x?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Locking the car door.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">324. Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">325. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> occur around the home?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She moved.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">326. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A blonde parade.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">327. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">328. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> husband's car?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">329. I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She told me she didn't know how to cook them.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">330. A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> sod across the street.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">331. Did you hear about the blonde who:</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 1 had more on her body than on her mind?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 2 was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 3 took an hour to cook Minute Rice?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 4 got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 5 was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 6 7 had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 8 thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 9 was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">cat?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 10 after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">girls?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 11 went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 12 brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">332. Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">333. There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> baby concieved ?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "He was on top ", she replyed.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The second woman was asked the same question.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "I was on top ", was the reply.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Whats the matter ?" asked the doc.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Am I going to have puppies ?".....</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">334. Blondes...</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> They take a lickin', and keep on...</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Lickin!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">335. Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> referred to her ears?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">336. Confucious say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">337. At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes latter,</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> she reappears at the car wash yelling, "who ripped off my car phone!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">338. This guy just started at his new job, working at a mature content shop. His</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> boss comes out and tell him that he has to leave for a while, and "can</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> you handle it?" The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> boss's positive comments he finally agrees.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> practice safe s_x). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> much for a box of rubbers?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">339. Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "Does he use the ball kind?" enquired the clerk.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">340. Another blonde in the mature content shop:</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He answers, "$35."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She: "How much for the black one?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> before."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She pays him, and off she goes.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> black dildo?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He: "$35."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She: "How much for the white one?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> one before..."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She pays him, and off she goes.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> are your dildos?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> He: "Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $165."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> never had a plaid one before...."</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> She pays him, and off she goes.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> gone?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">341. After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting s_x with a blonde</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> right before drinking it, herealizes his manhood is still pretty hot, </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">342. Blonde Medical Terminology</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Anally -- occurring yearly</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Artery -- study of paintings</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Caesarian section -- district in Rome</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Cat scan -- searching for kitty</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Colic -- sheep dog</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Coma -- a punctuation mark</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Congenital -- friendly</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> D&C -- where Washington is</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Diarrhea -- journal of daily events</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Dilate -- to live long</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Enema -- not a friend</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Fester -- quicker</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Fibula -- a small lie</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Genital -- non-Jewish</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Grippe -- suitcase</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Hangnail -- coathook</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Impotent -- distinguished, well known</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Intense pain -- torture in a teepee</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Labour pain -- got hurt at work</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Medical staff -- doctor's cane</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Morbid -- higher offer</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Node -- was aware of</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Outpatient -- person who had fainted</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Pap smear -- fatherhood test</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Post operative -- letter carrier</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Protein -- favouring young people</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Rectum -- damn near killed 'em</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Recovery room -- place to do upholstery</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Rheumatic -- amorous</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Secretion -- hiding anything</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Seizure -- Roman emperor</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Serology -- study of knighthood</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Tablet -- small tablet</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Terminal illness -- sickness at airport</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Tibia -- country in North Africa</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Tumour -- an extra pair</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Urine -- opposite of you're out</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Varicose -- located nearby</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Vein -- conceited</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">343. Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> packet.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">344. Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Blow in her ear.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">345. Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To keep her ankles warm.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">346. Q: How can you tell a blonde had a bad day?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> she did with her cigarette.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">347. Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Way to go team!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">348. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: By the chipped tooth.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">349. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">350. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: To keep from bruising their ears.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">352. Why does a blonds bra say T.G.I.F?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Tits go in first.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">352. Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So guys will talk to them at parties.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">353. Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Rebel without a clue.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">354. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE WITH A RUNNY NOSE?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Full.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">355. Imitation of a blonde refuelling..</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> (Flap hand, blowing air into ears)</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">356. Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES BREASTFEED THEIR BABIES?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">357. Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "No, I just lie there."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">358. Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Thanks, guys..."</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">359. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL 10 BLONDES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: AIR POCKETs.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">360. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: They're too hard to peel.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">361 Q: What did Jimmy Swaggart pay for his prostitute</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and her four blonde friends?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">362. Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> surgery on a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: "Space. The final frontier......"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 363. Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">team?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Just One... Boomer Esiason.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">364. Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">365. Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">366. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: So she could keep the refriderator cold.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">367. Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Maple Leafs?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She fell out of the tree.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">368 Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: A thought.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 369. Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: One.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">370. Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She didn't know what ONE came first...</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">371 Q: Why don't blondes talk when having s_x?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A2: Their mothers told them not with there mouths full.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">372 Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Divorced.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> 373 Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: Divorced.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">374. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> "How do you give shoulders?"</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">375. Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">376. Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> blow dryer!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">377. Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">378 Q: How do you describe 3 ladies of the night and a blonde?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">379. Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">lawyer</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">explained to her that she needed a liquor license?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!" </span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">380. Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes with yeast infections?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: A wine and cheese party!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">381. Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence ?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: She wasn't used to the front seat!</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">382. (Visual Joke)</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions)</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">383. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: She picks up her purse and goes home.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">384. Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: The vegetable garden.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">385. Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: One.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">386. Q: What's the difference between a mature content finger-****ing a blonde</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> and a Schwinn at the side of the road?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">387. Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Blonde: I don't know. Why?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Teller: It was easier to spell.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Blonde: Easier than what?</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">388. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> A: She liked kids...</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">389 Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: Far-from-thinkin</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">390 Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">391 Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.</span></span></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">And the finale</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">392. Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the Blonde Joke</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="madpup, post: 74206, member: 185131"] [center][font=Times New Roman][size=3]The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes[/size][/font][/center] [center][size=3][font=Times New Roman]----------------------------------------[/font][/size][/center] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Note: from Madpup:[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] These will also be good for Swedes, Germans and Essex girls..[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Gifted![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]2. Q: How do blonde braincells die?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Alone.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]3. [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Artificial intelligence.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]6. Q: How does a blonde part their hair?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: By doing the splits.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can't even keep two calves together![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Nothing. They've never met.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: After a dye job.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: She'd just dyed her hair.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] too much.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You can park in the handicap zone.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An IN-body experience![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]15. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They both get ****ed up when they're on their back.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]16. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Put either of 'em in a car and their ****ed.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]17. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Humpme Dumpme.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Shine a torch in her ears.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It takes too long to retrain them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: There's white-out on the screen.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: There's writing on the white-out.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]22. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]23. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] down on you.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]25. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]26. Q: How do you kill a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]27. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] little packages.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]29. Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: All you can eat, under a buck.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]30. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]31. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: They can't find the zipper.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A2: They cant find the pull tab.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]32. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]33. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To put their feet through.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]34. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Her ankles.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]35. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because red means stop.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]36. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]37. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]38. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They chip their teeth.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]39. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They make good ankle warmers.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]40. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Remove their underwear.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]41. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Cause their balls show![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]42. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]43. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]44. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She was run over by the zambonis machine. [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]45. Q: What's a brunette's mating call?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Has that blonde gone yet?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]46: Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can spell it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]47. Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] effect in Canada)[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can spell it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]48. Q: What is 74 to a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: 69 plus G.S.T.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Toes Go In First.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]50. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Tits Go In Front.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]51. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An interpreter.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]52. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A mental block.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]53. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: Blow in her ear.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Buy her another beer.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]54. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Have another beer."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]55. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]56. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: Introduces themself.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Walks home.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]57. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Fertilized.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]58. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Unfertilized.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]59. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after s_x?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Opens the car door.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]60. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after s_x?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Kick open the car door.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]61. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: More head room.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]62. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: More leg room.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]63. Q: What is the worst thing about s_x with a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Bucket seats.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]64. Q: What do blondes say after s_x?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: "Thanks, Guys!"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: "Are you boys all in the same band?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: Do you guys all play for the <team name>?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A4: Who were all those guys?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]65. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because everybody gets a turn.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]66. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because she's been laid all over the country.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]67. Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having s_x?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]68. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: *Who cares?*[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]69. Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So they know when to stop having s_x![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]70. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: She drops her nail-file![/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Who cares?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: She says, "Next".[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A6: I mean, who really cares?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A7: The batteries have run out.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]71. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Thanks for the refill!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]72. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Data transfer.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]73. Q: Why do blondes use tapons with extra long strings?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]74. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] what she did with her pencil.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]75. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] nametag) ?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]76. Q: Why do blondes have more fun?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: Because they don't know any better.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: They are easier to keep amused.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]77. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: "What's a lightbulb?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]78. Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]79. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A wine cellar.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]80. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Peroxide.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]81. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They're doing research on black holes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]82. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: They both have a black box.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Both have a cockpit.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]83. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Not everyone has been in a 747.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]84. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Not everybody has been in a limo.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]85. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]86. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Are you sure it's mine?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]87. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A wind tunnel.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]88. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A dope ring.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]89. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Who picks it up?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] wrapper.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]90. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To see what was on the other side.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]91. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Pull the pin and throw it back.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]92. Q: Why do blondes take the pill?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So they know what day of the week it is.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]93. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because it kept falling out.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]94. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because her boyfriend was also blond![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]95. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] ground first?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]96. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Her IQ goes up![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]97. Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]98. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]99. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]100. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Butter is difficult to spread.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]101. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] three holes to poke.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A4: You don't eat your bowling ball[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]102. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]103. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]104. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Bigfoot has been spotted.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]105. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]106. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]107. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] York?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]108. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] won't follow you around for a week.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]109. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]110. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]111. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They're both empty from the neck up.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]112. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They both wriggle when you eat them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]113. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So she could lip read.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]114. Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They both have black roots.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]115. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Sweet **** All...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]116. Q: How do you drown a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Don't tell her to swallow.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]117. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]118. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]119. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]120. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]121. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]122. Q: What's the blonde's cheer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]123. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Change.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]124. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]125. Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because you don't have to marry them for s_x![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]126. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]127. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]128. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She threw it off a cliff.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]129. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She drowns it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]130. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] puzzle in only 6 months?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]131. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Nice tits!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]132. Q: How does a blonde high-5?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She smacks herself in the forehead.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]133. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]134. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]135. Q: Why do blondes have legs? [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]136. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and come home?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] television.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]137. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: The blonde![/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: The other guys waiting their turn.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]138. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Flattered.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]139. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]140. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] up by "the fuzz"?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]141. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Frosted Flakes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]142. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Frosted Flakes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]143. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A 69 interrupted by a period.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]144. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] a terrorist?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]145. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]146. Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]147. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they always burn their nipples.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]148. Q: Did you hear about the blonde mature content?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She kept having affairs with men![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]149. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To cover up the valve stem.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]150. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Spot.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]151. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A Space Invader.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]152. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Air Supply.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]153. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The back of her head.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]154. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]155. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Tell them a joke on Friday night![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]156. Q: Why did God create blondes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Q: Why did God create brunettes?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Neither could the blondes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]157. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Branch Manager.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]158. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She fell out of the tree.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]159. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] if they're going to work or coming home.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]160. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A blonde electrician.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]161. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: So brunettes can remember them.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: So men can understand them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]162. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]163. Q: What do you call a smart blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: A golden retriever.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: A labrador.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]164. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]165. Q: Why do blondes have periods?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They deserve them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]166. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]167. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]168. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]169. Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She liked to be filled with cream.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]170. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]171. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]172. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: By the ears.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]173. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]174. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]175. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Proofreading.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]176. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: For throwing out the W's.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]177. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]178. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Last year's hide and seek champ.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]179. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]180. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] pygmies?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]181. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: One's a busy ditch.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]182. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]183. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]184. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]185. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]186. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]187. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac,[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and a blonde?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The nympho says, "Are you done already?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]188. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Tell her she's pregnant.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Q: What will she ask you?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Is it mine?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]189. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An air bag.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]190. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] drives a car?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Cause she blows the horn![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]191. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]192. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To turn the blinker off.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]193. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]194. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech,[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] varoom...screech.....?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] red light.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]195. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]196. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] in their car at a drive-in movie theater?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]197. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: By the buckle print on her forehead.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]198. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] forehead.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]199. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She can't say "No".[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]200. Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Retardo.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]201. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A visitor.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]202. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]203. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]204. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]205. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Perri-air.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]206. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]207. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]208. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]209. Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The Air Pump![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]210. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]211. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because she got an F in s_x.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]212. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]213. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: I don't know.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] R: Neither did she.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]214. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She missed.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]215. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] where the sun went ? It finally dawned on her.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]216. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] had cleaned 43 restrooms.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]217. How about the suicide blonde,[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] she dyed by her own hand.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]218. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] looks up, and says, "Where?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]219. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] wrong way on a one-way street.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Cop: Do you know where you were going?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] people were leaving.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]220. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Driver's licence? What's that?..."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "It's a little card with your picture on it."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Oh, duh! Here it is..."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "May I have your car insurance?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "What's that?..."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] exclaims:[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]221. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] could do without the ironing lady.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to **** me properly we could do[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] without the gardener.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]222. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row![/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]223. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] them decides to call 911:[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] a light bulb.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: Yes.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Operator: The power in the house in on?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: Of course.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Operator: And the switch is on?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: Yes, yes.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: No, it's working fine.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Operator: Then what's the problem?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] we all fell and hurt ourselves.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]224. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He wanted to know who the other man was...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]225. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] tired to go on, so she drowned.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]226. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] you finger out, I'll sink?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]227. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig, and one[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] half hour later they were both killed by a train.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]228. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can **** and[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]229. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] their Mercedes with a coat hanger.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] to rain and the top is down![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]230. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] hit me right in the face!!!" [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Or: "Good thing that cows don't fly."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]231. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Heaven, you have to pass a test."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me![/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Andy tells me..."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]232. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]233. A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]234. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] bartender:[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Bartender:"What is a B and C?".[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Bartender: "What's a G and T?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Redhead: "Gin and tonic."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: "I'll have a 15."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Bartender: "What's a 15?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Blonde: "7 and 7"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]235. A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] just don't remember who with.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]236. Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]237. ... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] slogan "Billions Served - just today"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]238. Q. How can you tell that a blonde's having a bad day.[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A. She has a tampon tucked under her year, and she can't find her pencil.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]239. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]240. Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An air bag.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]241. Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It's too hard to re-train them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]242. Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Their heels.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]243. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They don't know the route.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]244. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]245. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]246. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Thirty minutes of begging.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]247. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]248. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]249. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]250. Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Ming vase?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]251. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]252. Q: How do you plant dope?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Bury a blonde.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]253. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]254. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Wave to her.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]255. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]256. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: And I thought blondes were dumb![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]257. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A know-it-all bitch.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]258. Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] skinny blonde?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: One's a phony buck.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]259. Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] a magician?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]260. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: One that never misses a period.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]261. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An Italian suppository. [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]262. Q: Why don't a blondes guts fall out of her silly when she stands?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because the vaccum in her head keeps them in place.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]263. Q: What's the difference between having s_x with a blonde and[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] eating Jell-o?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]264. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] stop until it gets blood.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]265. Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She was having sunny periods. [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]266. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Her feet![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]267. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: When she farts, her knees bag.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]268. Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Marriage.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]269. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]270. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]271. Q: How do you confuse a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You don't. They're born that way.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]272. Q: How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Marry her.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]273. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The cow fell on her.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]274. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Bobbing for french fries.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]275. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She has a checkbook.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]276. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: There is a stamp on it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]277. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]278. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] PMS?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Lipstick.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]279. Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]n like blonde jokes??[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can understand them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They think someone is taking their picture.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] flat forehead?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: From eating with forks.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: From dating blonde men.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Wishful Thinking.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]287. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]288. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]289. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: They can't remember the number.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A brunette with bad breath. [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Reservations.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They pull up their pants.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Air bubbles.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]294. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] street corner?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]295. Q: What do you call a blonde mature content?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A waste.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An air mattress.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Divorcee'[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] four bucks.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]299. Q: What does a blonde owl say?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: What, what?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A brain tumor.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]280. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can understand them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They think someone is taking their picture.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] flat forehead?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: From eating with forks.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: From dating blonde men.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Wishful Thinking.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]287. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]288. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]289. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: They can't remember the number.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A brunette with bad breath. [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Reservations.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They pull up their pants.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Air bubbles.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]294. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] street corner?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]295. Q: What do you call a blonde mature content?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A waste.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: An air mattress.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Divorcee'[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] four bucks.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]299. Q: What does a blonde owl say?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: What, what?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A brain tumor.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]301. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Two brunettes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]302. Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They both got ****ed by 10 men whilst on holiday.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Q2: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: He knows who the ten men were.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]303. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To see what was on the other side.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]304. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Too many blondes were drowning.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]305. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]306. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: From crawling across the street when the sign said[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "DON'T WALK".[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]307. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: In case she locks the keys in her car.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]308. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]309. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because she loved children.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]310. Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge,[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] who would die first?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] stop and ask for directions.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]311. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Grade 4.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]312. What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: Third Grade.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]313. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]314. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: 144 blondes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]315. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]316. Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]317. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]318. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They both drip when they're ****ed.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]319. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?:[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]320. Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It swells at night.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]321. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]322. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] cut it in six or twelve pieces.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]323. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe s_x?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Locking the car door.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]324. Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]325. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] occur around the home?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She moved.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]326. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A blonde parade.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]327. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]328. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] husband's car?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]329. I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She told me she didn't know how to cook them.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]330. A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] sod across the street.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]331. Did you hear about the blonde who:[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 1 had more on her body than on her mind?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 2 was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 3 took an hour to cook Minute Rice?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 4 got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 5 was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 6 7 had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 8 thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 9 was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]cat?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 10 after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]girls?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 11 went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 12 brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]332. Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]333. There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] baby concieved ?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "He was on top ", she replyed.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] The second woman was asked the same question.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "I was on top ", was the reply.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Whats the matter ?" asked the doc.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Am I going to have puppies ?".....[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]334. Blondes...[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] They take a lickin', and keep on...[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Lickin![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]335. Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles"[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] referred to her ears?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]336. Confucious say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]337. At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes latter,[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] she reappears at the car wash yelling, "who ripped off my car phone!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]338. This guy just started at his new job, working at a mature content shop. His[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] boss comes out and tell him that he has to leave for a while, and "can[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] you handle it?" The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] boss's positive comments he finally agrees.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] practice safe s_x). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] much for a box of rubbers?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]339. Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "Does he use the ball kind?" enquired the clerk.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]340. Another blonde in the mature content shop:[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He answers, "$35."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She: "How much for the black one?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] before."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She pays him, and off she goes.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] black dildo?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He: "$35."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She: "How much for the white one?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] one before..."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She pays him, and off she goes.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] are your dildos?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] He: "Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $165."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] never had a plaid one before...."[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] She pays him, and off she goes.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] gone?"[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]341. After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting s_x with a blonde[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] right before drinking it, herealizes his manhood is still pretty hot, [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]342. Blonde Medical Terminology[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Anally -- occurring yearly[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Artery -- study of paintings[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Caesarian section -- district in Rome[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Cat scan -- searching for kitty[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Colic -- sheep dog[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Coma -- a punctuation mark[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Congenital -- friendly[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] D&C -- where Washington is[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Diarrhea -- journal of daily events[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Dilate -- to live long[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Enema -- not a friend[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Fester -- quicker[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Fibula -- a small lie[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Genital -- non-Jewish[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Grippe -- suitcase[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Hangnail -- coathook[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Impotent -- distinguished, well known[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Intense pain -- torture in a teepee[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Labour pain -- got hurt at work[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Medical staff -- doctor's cane[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Morbid -- higher offer[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Node -- was aware of[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Outpatient -- person who had fainted[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Pap smear -- fatherhood test[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Post operative -- letter carrier[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Protein -- favouring young people[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Rectum -- damn near killed 'em[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Recovery room -- place to do upholstery[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Rheumatic -- amorous[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Secretion -- hiding anything[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Seizure -- Roman emperor[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Serology -- study of knighthood[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Tablet -- small tablet[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Terminal illness -- sickness at airport[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Tibia -- country in North Africa[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Tumour -- an extra pair[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Urine -- opposite of you're out[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Varicose -- located nearby[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Vein -- conceited[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]343. Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] packet.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]344. Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Blow in her ear.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]345. Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To keep her ankles warm.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]346. Q: How can you tell a blonde had a bad day?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] she did with her cigarette.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]347. Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Way to go team![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]348. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: By the chipped tooth.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]349. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]350. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: To keep from bruising their ears.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]352. Why does a blonds bra say T.G.I.F?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Tits go in first.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]352. Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So guys will talk to them at parties.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]353. Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Rebel without a clue.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]354. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE WITH A RUNNY NOSE?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Full.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]355. Imitation of a blonde refuelling..[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] (Flap hand, blowing air into ears)[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]356. Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES BREASTFEED THEIR BABIES?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]357. Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "No, I just lie there."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]358. Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Thanks, guys..."[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]359. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL 10 BLONDES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: AIR POCKETs.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]360. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: They're too hard to peel.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]361 Q: What did Jimmy Swaggart pay for his prostitute[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and her four blonde friends?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]362. Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] surgery on a blonde?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: "Space. The final frontier......"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 363. Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]team?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Just One... Boomer Esiason.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]364. Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]365. Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]366. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: So she could keep the refriderator cold.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]367. Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Maple Leafs?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She fell out of the tree.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]368 Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: A thought.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 369. Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: One.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]370. Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She didn't know what ONE came first...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]371 Q: Why don't blondes talk when having s_x?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A2: Their mothers told them not with there mouths full.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]372 Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Divorced.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] 373 Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: Divorced.[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]374. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] "How do you give shoulders?"[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]375. Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]376. Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] blow dryer![/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]377. Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]378 Q: How do you describe 3 ladies of the night and a blonde?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]379. Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]lawyer[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]explained to her that she needed a liquor license?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!" [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]380. Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes with yeast infections?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: A wine and cheese party![/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]381. Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence ?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: She wasn't used to the front seat![/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]382. (Visual Joke)[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions)[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]383. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: She picks up her purse and goes home.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]384. Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: The vegetable garden.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]385. Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: One.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]386. Q: What's the difference between a mature content finger-****ing a blonde[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] and a Schwinn at the side of the road?[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]387. Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]Blonde: I don't know. Why?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]Teller: It was easier to spell.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]Blonde: Easier than what?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]388. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?[/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] A: She liked kids...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]389 Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: Far-from-thinkin[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]390 Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]391 Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]And the finale[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]392. Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth?[/size][/font] [font=Times New Roman][size=3]A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the Blonde Joke[/size][/font] [/QUOTE]
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