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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
The English, Scottish and Irish man joke thread...
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<blockquote data-quote="Rod Hulls Aerial" data-source="post: 70696" data-attributes="member: 177233"><p><strong>OK before I begin I hope there is no offence taken to any jokes told in this thread, as we all know there are thousands of these jokes floating around, there is no malice or racism intended or implied and these jokes are only told in the spirit in which they are intended, to make us laugh.</strong></p><p><strong>If any offence is taken then please let me or the moderators know and they will be deleted immediately, I myself am 1/3 irish and I'm sure there's a joke even in that statement !!</strong></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>The jokes:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen".</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen".</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying -</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rod Hulls Aerial, post: 70696, member: 177233"] [b]OK before I begin I hope there is no offence taken to any jokes told in this thread, as we all know there are thousands of these jokes floating around, there is no malice or racism intended or implied and these jokes are only told in the spirit in which they are intended, to make us laugh. If any offence is taken then please let me or the moderators know and they will be deleted immediately, I myself am 1/3 irish and I'm sure there's a joke even in that statement !![/b] The jokes: [font=Verdana][size=2]An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen". On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen". On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying - Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."[/size][/font] [/QUOTE]
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The English, Scottish and Irish man joke thread...
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