Log in
Register
Menu
Log in
Register
Home
What's new
Latest activity
Authors
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Topics
Members Lounge
Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
THE OLD ONES ARE the BEST
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="jeallen01" data-source="post: 1085820" data-attributes="member: 176704"><p>Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.</p><p></p><p>A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'</p><p></p><p>Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.</p><p></p><p>The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.</p><p></p><p>Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound note that rested inside.</p><p></p><p>Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.</p><p></p><p>A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store.</p><p></p><p>There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.</p><p></p><p>The poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor.</p><p></p><p>The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.</p><p></p><p>Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, old' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.</p><p></p><p>However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.</p><p></p><p>Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.</p><p></p><p>Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.</p><p></p><p>The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>(You're going to hate me for this)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jeallen01, post: 1085820, member: 176704"] Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound note that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. The poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor. The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, old' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared (You're going to hate me for this) 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO' [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Topics
Members Lounge
Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
THE OLD ONES ARE the BEST
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn more…
Top