Two nuns

[Topper]

There were two nuns

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL)

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?
I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to ****us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. A little while later... SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!

 

[Lazarus]

Drat.

Not a Blue Nun after all

 

[Vipersan]

All my nun jokes are far too seedy to post here ..
Including ..
Have nun ..
want nun ....and
can't get nun

 

[PaulR]

...and

Q) What fun does a monk have?
A) Nun.

 

[Lazarus]

All my nun jokes are far too seedy to post here ..
Including ..
Have nun ..
want nun ....and
can't get nun

"Where's the Candle?"

"Does, doesn't it."

 

[PaulR]

Wow, that took me straight back to telling jokes in the school playground.

 

[Lazarus]

Wow, that took me straight back to telling jokes in the school playground.

"Candles out, Girls"

(While you're in the mood)


PS: I've run out of Candles now.

 

[Vipersan]

"Where's the Candle?"

"Does, doesn't it."

When I heard it it it was ...
2 nuns taking a shower ...
one of the nuns to the other one ..
'where's the soap ?'
to which the other replied ..
'it does doesn't it '

 

[Lazarus]

When I heard it it it was ...
2 nuns taking a shower ...
one of the nuns to the other one ..
'where's the soap ?'
to which the other replied ..
'it does doesn't it '

Different School ........ [emoji38]

 

[Vipersan]

A 'clean' monk joke..
A monk was up before the beak for stealing a bolt of rough cloth...
Judge passes sentence..
'In light of your previous good works and reputation ..I shall let you off this time...but don't make a habit of it ...'

I'll get me cowl....>>>>>>

 

[PaulR]

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks so to speak. When I first heard it they were having a bath...

 

[Vipersan]

Well ..
here we go ..

Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven.
Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned.
"Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said
"Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven,"Peter told her.
Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned.
"Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied.
"Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun.
Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?
" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"


Hope this doesn't offend too much ..
I know Dave Allen would approve..
;)