All Puns Intended: Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before

T_G

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#1
All Puns Intended :)

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"!

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds
like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why,"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives th em up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ;
they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins! If you've seen Juan , you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi , as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with
he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's
good).... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
 

BarMoo

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#2
DejaMoo - now that might have been a better username, LOL.:-doh!

Thank's T_G for those - reminded me of my school days and how I never really learnt anything.

Have Fun.
 

T_G

The Consumate Dreamer
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My Satellite Setup
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#3
BarMoo??? WFT :-rofl2
 

BarMoo

Post Meister
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My Satellite Setup
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#5
My you do get up early Prophessor, hehe.:-rofl2 Like, milking cows early.
 

T_G

The Consumate Dreamer
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My Satellite Setup
1 GigaBlue Quad plus, 1 Dreambox 5620, MOTECK SG2100A DISEqC Motor, 120 cm noname offset dish, Humax 95 cm offset dish and a few UK digiboxes.
My Location
Somewhere where the Sauer is Kraut and the Wurst is Brat
#6
naaaah he just went to sleep late :)
 

wolfav

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no mans land
#8
is that the worst top 20 tg:-rofl2
 
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