Alternatives

[Topper]

Well if family Fortunes is not your bag how about a few contestants on Radio Phone in shows

RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter : Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright : On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant : Espresso.
Wright : What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant : True?
Judy Finnegan : No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American
TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause) : Fourteen days.
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood : What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant : Blimey?
Wood : Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham : In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant : No.

 

[Topper]

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant : Goosey, Goosey?

THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson : In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant : Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting) : Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers
or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson : The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant : Geronimo!

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant : William Shakespeare.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle : In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that,
I can let you try again.
Caller : Er... Mexico?