- Joined
- Jun 28, 2003
- Messages
- 18,024
- Reaction score
- 4,046
- Points
- 113
- My Satellite Setup
- -----------See sig-----------
- My Location
- Wirral, NW UK and Vaucluse, France.
Hello. Is this Gordons Pizza?
No Sir, it's Google Pizza.
I must have dialled the wrong number, sorry.
No Sir. Google bought Gordons Pizza last month.
Oh, OK, I'd like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual Sir?
My usual? . . . You know me?
According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called, you ordered an extra large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.
OK that's what I want
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta cheese, rocket, sun dried tomatoes and olives on a gluten free thin crust.
No, you may not. I don't like vegetables.
Your cholesterol needs help sir.
How the hell do you know?
We cross referenced your phone number with your medical records. We have the results of your blood test for the last seven years.
Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza and I take medication for my cholesterol.
Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our records database indicates that you only filled a prescription for 30 tablets once at Boots, 4 months ago.
I bought the rest at another chemist.
Not according to your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn't show up on your tax return, unless you bought them using an undisclosed income source, which is against the law.
WHAT THE HELL?
I'm sorry sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.
Goodbye. I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter and all this c***. I'm moving to an island without internet access, TV, mobile phone service and jerks watching and spying on me.
I understand sir, but you'll need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
No Sir, it's Google Pizza.
I must have dialled the wrong number, sorry.
No Sir. Google bought Gordons Pizza last month.
Oh, OK, I'd like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual Sir?
My usual? . . . You know me?
According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called, you ordered an extra large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.
OK that's what I want
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta cheese, rocket, sun dried tomatoes and olives on a gluten free thin crust.
No, you may not. I don't like vegetables.
Your cholesterol needs help sir.
How the hell do you know?
We cross referenced your phone number with your medical records. We have the results of your blood test for the last seven years.
Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza and I take medication for my cholesterol.
Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our records database indicates that you only filled a prescription for 30 tablets once at Boots, 4 months ago.
I bought the rest at another chemist.
Not according to your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn't show up on your tax return, unless you bought them using an undisclosed income source, which is against the law.
WHAT THE HELL?
I'm sorry sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.
Goodbye. I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter and all this c***. I'm moving to an island without internet access, TV, mobile phone service and jerks watching and spying on me.
I understand sir, but you'll need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.