Being a parent

H

hoggy

Regular Member
My Satellite Setup
technomate 1500ci+motorised
My Location
london
Just finished watching Amy Winehouse's fathers documentary about living with a famous daughter and obviously the not inconsiderable heart ache the poor guy must go through due to her much publicised issues with a variety of substances. After watching the program I have no doubt that the guy is almost definitely due a heart attack.

Something he said that most definitely resonated with me was his parting statement in the documentary. '' I must learn and accept that I cannot be there to protect her all of the time''. And that has stuck with me. As a father to a daughter, when/ how do you let go? If indeed you can ever let go. My parents must have done it, or did a damn good job of faking it. But I can see me struggling with the exact same problem that Ms W's father has. What makes me worry is that I can see it killing him

As I type this my daughter is sat in the lounge with her boyfriend. My wife tells me he is a lovely lad and in fairness he comes from a good family and is extremely courteous and polite whenever we have spoken. Certainly not your average chav. He seems to treat my daughter well and makes her happy. So why the f##k do I want to steam in there and take his head off with a baseball bat ?


Obviously my wifes parents went through this with me and came out the other side, but I just wonder how fathers of daughters cope.
 
Well Hoggy I do sympathise indeed my daughter is 19 and has had a boyfriend for 2 1/2 years, yes I sometimes have felt like that and I cannot exactly give you any advice. Her boyfriend is also very nice but he doesn't want to get to know us. He will not come and have a meal with us which racks me off no end. He does not have a promising career path but in fairness I never did. Would I want to see them settle down? I really cannot say, all I want is for my daughter to be happy and able to provide a stable environment for any future offspring which is why it is important she continues with her studies at university. He has to make a special effort to see her and it will either make or break their relationship.
As I said I do not think anyone can give advise to you apart from try not to lose the plot....

oh and no I guess we never let go
 
At least I am not the only one that feels like this,thanks topper at least you,ve eased my mind a little.
 
Hoggy,

Oh mate, I do sympathise!! I have a stepdaughter, who lives in Southampton and has severe hearing loss, whilst I live permanantly here in France. We lost her 52 year old mother to cancer at the end of June last year, just five weeks after our marriage. She is attempting to return to work as an apprentice plumber (she won apprentice of the year at Eastleigh College) after injuring her shoulder, which was a knock on effect from the bullying she was suffering.

Now she has had the same boyfriend for over two years. They got engaged early last year but broke it off after Debbie died, though have remained boyfriend/girlfriend. I've never met him and only spoken twice briefly to him on the phone. He has been evasive over meeting me and planned to come over here with Sarah for Xmas and New Year. He came up with all sorts of excuses about his passport, then a lack of money and didn't come in the end. He has "borrowed" money off Sarah in the past and is very demanding sexually.

If I lived in the UK I would go round and sort him out, probably with a couple of friends! But I can't as it's impossible to leave here right now. So all I can do is advise Sarah that I think he is totally unsuitable. But she is desperate for a friend, "any port in a storm".

Ultimately, as Topper says her happiness is of utmost importance. I can only guide, suggest and advise. I try to put all sides to her and promise to be even handed. I just hope she sees him for what I think he is. I've only known Sarah for nine years, since she was 17, not having been a parent before (I'm 59!!) so it hasn't been easy. Like I said, I do really sympathise but don't lose the plot!!!

Pete
 
Quite a few people appear to have lived in Fairness, whereabouts is it ?
 
Channel Hopper said:
Quite a few people appear to have lived in Fairness, whereabouts is it ?
Click to expand...

Between the villages of Lower Even Handed and Upper Pre Judgement I guess!!
 
hoggy said:
At least I am not the only one that feels like this,thanks topper at least you,ve eased my mind a little.
Click to expand...

No Hoggy your not on your own, my girl got involved with a lad who turned out to be a bit abusive, hitting her about, i knew nothing about it obviously, until my daughter came in one night with a mark on her face,
when the wife and i questioned her it all came out she broke down and told us everything,

at 12 the same night i was arrested and locked up for beating the little b****** senseless, the copper on duty told me he was renowned for it and got what he deserved,

you do what you have to do for your kids mate,

regards dave
 
Back
Top