Caravan anyone?

Q:Looking for a seedy cheap looking mature content set. Can you confirm how many middle-aged moustached German men can be 'accommodated' comfortably and can you confirm that the brown interior is 1970's standard mature content beige
A:I am afraid this caravan is MUCH TOO RICKETY to accomodate moustached German men. Danish, maybe. German - no.

:-lmao
 
:eek: £75,000, you can buy a two up two down terraced house built in Accrington brick for that sort of dosh oop North, of course it would have no wheels or a hitching point :-bighappy
 
Journey said:
Q:Looking for a seedy cheap looking mature content set. Can you confirm how many middle-aged moustached German men can be 'accommodated' comfortably and can you confirm that the brown interior is 1970's standard mature content beige
A:I am afraid this caravan is MUCH TOO RICKETY to accomodate moustached German men. Danish, maybe. German - no.

:-lmao
Click to expand...
Check the others - there are about 30 in total, some absolute crackers.
 
Pissed myself laughing ..
That is one serious wit
'Don't drink and Ebay'
:D

...might put in a bid ..
Always wanted a new hobby involving animals...
 
Its been removed now. Was funny though:-rofl2
 
caravan.webp Well if it helps ..
For those who were too slow ..
Luckilly I still had the add open ..
This is what I salvaged..
;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Does this come with a free Tetanus injection?
A: Woefully, not.
28 Aug, 2015
Q: I see that this item is fairly local to me. Is it possible that you could move it further away, please? Many thanks in advance...
A: HA!
28 Aug, 2015
Q: Have we reached the reserve yet?
A: I have revised my expectations. We now have some way to go.
28 Aug, 2015
Q: ..Just curious, what's that white powder stuff outside the door?..
A: The powdered remains of my enemies
27 Aug, 2015
Q: Looking for a seedy cheap looking mature content set. Can you confirm how many middle-aged moustached German men can be 'accommodated' comfortably and can you confirm that the brown interior is 1970's standard mature content beige
A: I am afraid this caravan is MUCH TOO RICKETY to accomodate moustached German men. Danish, maybe. German - no.
Q: Hi. Do you have an equally shite car for sale to tow it? You know, one with stains of unknown / indescribable origin, old copies of the Sun jammed on the dashboard, underpants in the boot and go faster stripes? 27-Aug-15
A: Funny you should mention that - not only does my idiot husband secretly buy terrible caravans, he also has a penchant for buying more second hand cars than any family ever needs. I'm trying to persuade him to part with the BRIGHT BASTARD RED 80'S PORCHE he has as a 'spare' at the moment. The windscreen is so grubby when you sit in it it's like looking out into the actual past. Feel free to make an offer on that.
Q: Any chance you can try before you buy? I know a sordid dog that needs a good dose of murder. Cheers! 27-Aug-15
A: I think someone already might have beaten you to that particular pastime in this vehicle by the looks of things
Q: Would this be suitable for an Exorcism e.g. wipe-clean surfaces? 27-Aug-15
A: Yup. Deffo.
Q: Jeremy Clarkson and his cohorts have recently signed a megbucks motoring show deal with Amazon. You should tweet him a link to the advert, he's rolling in cash now and, he'd probably enjoy dropping a Morris Minor onto your caravan. 27-Aug-15
A: BRilliant idea!
Q: Hi is the caravan suitable for cooking meth cheers 27-Aug-15
A: I would say so, but lots of the inside does look a bit flammable, so my advice would be to cook carefully.
Q: I've just Google'd Castle Ashby and it looks lovely. Would this caravan be available for rent for the last two weeks of September? 27-Aug-15
A: Hold on while I check with Lord Compton...
Q: Hi, would you mind if I added your caravan to my Pintrest board entitled "Shithouse Crap Caravans (and beards)?" 27-Aug-15
A: HAH!! PLease please do.
Q: If I buy it can I leave it parked at your place? I don't want the people here in the Welsh Valleys to think I'm showing off. 27-Aug-15
A: :)
Q: Hi ok so my line of work involves wearing a ski mask and visiting camps in the woods. would you describe this as a stabby stabby kind of caravan or more of a slasher slasher kind of abode. The answer is really important so answer carefully considering i like to use more of the machete kind of killy wepon. Your Mr Voorhees The Lake America 27-Aug-15
A: Hmmmm. Both probably. I should point out that I in NO WAY endorse murdering as a hobby.
Q: Do you think I could convert this into a caravan? 27-Aug-15
A: HAH! (almost definitely not)
Q: that's brilliant, you should write column for Viz! 27-Aug-15
A: Thanks! I do write a wordpress blog (called And Other Idiots) on more of our familial idiocy and other mishaps / failed projects / drunken purchases if you're interested. It's mostly swearing. Not sure what Ebay's rules on this sort of thing are, but pretty sure this advert might fall foul of them at some point so feel free to recommend me to Viz if you know a way in...
Q: Can i come and kick the tyres and waste your time as I have no interest in buying it? well i am being honest, not like the rest of the potential buyers ;) 27-Aug-15
A: You are amazing. Marry me immediately. I should point out though that if you kicked the tyres, there's a strong chance the entire caravan might crumble into dust.
Q: Bloody hilarious...you should write a one of these every week!! 27-Aug-15
A: I would need a thousand hours to get through all the stupid things my husband has ever bought.... I do write a blog which touches on more of our familial idiocy (www.andotheridiots.wordpress.com) and other mishaps / failed projects / drunken purchases if you're interested. It's mostly swearing. Not sure what Ebay's rules on this sort of thing are, but pretty sure this advert might fall foul of them at some point so might be worth a look....
Q: Absolutely the best ebay descript ever... you should jack your job & become a comedy writer!!! All credit to you girl! ;) :D 27-Aug-15
A: Thanks!
Q: p.s its as about as crap as my trailer haha we coulda started a fleet 27-Aug-15
A: No. More. Shoddy. Vehicles...
Q: holla to the best auction on ebay everer! 27-Aug-15
A: Please buy my shite caravan!
Q: make a good fishing cabin. pplenty of lakes and fishermen around you 27-Aug-15
A: If it doesn't sell, it may well be pushed to the bottom of one of said nearby lakes...
Q: Fantastic description, you made my day,lve never laughed so much.you have a great sence of humour. Many thanks john. 27-Aug-15
A: Thanks John. Can I interest you in a caravan?
Q: Hi Loved reading this....made my day!! Don't be too harsh on him......us men always have a mad moment!! 27-Aug-15
A: Thank you. Lesson: Don't drink and Ebay.
 
Vipersan said:
Some folk have had their sense of humour gland surgically removed I fear ..
;)
Click to expand...
You are assuming they had one in the first place......perhaps it was a 2nd brain cell
 
Back
Top