Church matters

PaulR

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At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new car every year and his wife with a people carrier to transport their children!’

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says: ‘If the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!’

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile: ‘If the Vicar stays, I will give him s_x.’

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: ‘Mrs Jones, you’re a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?’

Agnes’s 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘F*ck him’.
 
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