Creative signs

[Topper]

Sign in a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

**************************
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

**************************
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

**************************
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

**************************
On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

**************************
At a Tyre Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."

**************************
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

**************************
In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

**************************
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

**************************
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

**************************
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

**************************
Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

**************************
In a Vets waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

**************************
And the sign at a
RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

**********************
Sign on the back of another
Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

 

[2cvbloke]

Borrowed from elsewhere:

Did I read that sign right?:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE
ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T
KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE
FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL
YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON
THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

And last but not least...