I went to Tescos today...

kleefarr

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#1
I was in Tescos today buying a large bag of Pedigree for my dog and was in
line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The
Pedigree Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in
both arms.

Her eyes about popped out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally believing it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works
is to load your pockets or handbag with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall bloke that was standing behind
her.

Horrified, she asked if it was something in the dog food that had poisoned
me and that may have been why I ended up in the hospital.

I said... "No..... I was sitting in the street licking my arse when a car
hit me".

I thought the tall guy was going faint and have to be carried out the door!!


Have a great week-end!

All the best,

Kevin
 

Zorba

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#2
Theres one born every minute.Me,I would have force fed you worm tablets(especially after you licking your arse):-rofl2
 

kleefarr

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#3
zorba said:
Theres one born every minute.Me,I would have force fed you worm tablets(especially after you licking your arse):-rofl2
I wouldn't waste that much time...

I'D STUFF THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF WORM TABLES STRAIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT! LOL :toke:
 

dig deep

Prince of Birthdays
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#4
Hehehe, so it did work, really ? Lost 50 pounds ? Amazing

Must try it:-rofl2
 

frund

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#5
Must remember that one hellishly good
 
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