Medical Record Scandal

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In accordance with the data protection act all names have been removed to protect both the innocent and guilty :p

Only the substance of the record remains ;)



1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night..
6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentlly alert but forgetful.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
 

Channel Hopper

Suffering fools, so you don't have to.
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Is it just one person ?
 

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Amo Amas Amant Admin
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Channel Hopper said:
Is it just one person ?

No CH it does states names removed, but if it was it would certainly be a unique hermaphrodite it would put the likes of Lurch to shame.

22 has me in stitches hah now there's a pun for you:-rofl2
 
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