- My Satellite Setup
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- My Location
- Wirral, NW UK
Due to the credit crunch, me and the family are not going to go to the Mediterranean this year. Instead we are going to recreate it at home. And I am well ahead with my arrangements.
We will start the pretend holiday by us all going out in my car with the air con off and sit in the sun for five hours to recreate the holiday jams we customarily start with.
I have filled the paddling pool with sand for us all to sit in, along with a few used condoms and half filled cans of lager. The space is a bit bigger than what we are used to but we will have to make do.
I am going to insist that, in my local shop, unless I speak Spanish fluently he will charge me twice as much as normal.
The wife is to be allowed to spend on a wardrobe to replace the clothes she has not worn since last year (but now “do not fit”), which I will take away from her as pretend lost-luggage and only give back at the end of the first week.
I have arranged for a few of my neighbours to stare and follow my 14 year old daughter when she ventures out on her own.
Finally, the wife has promised, halfway through, to pick a fight over some pointless matter we will not remember the subject of two weeks later so the whole family can sit in broody silence for the remainder of the holiday.
We will start the pretend holiday by us all going out in my car with the air con off and sit in the sun for five hours to recreate the holiday jams we customarily start with.
I have filled the paddling pool with sand for us all to sit in, along with a few used condoms and half filled cans of lager. The space is a bit bigger than what we are used to but we will have to make do.
I am going to insist that, in my local shop, unless I speak Spanish fluently he will charge me twice as much as normal.
The wife is to be allowed to spend on a wardrobe to replace the clothes she has not worn since last year (but now “do not fit”), which I will take away from her as pretend lost-luggage and only give back at the end of the first week.
I have arranged for a few of my neighbours to stare and follow my 14 year old daughter when she ventures out on her own.
Finally, the wife has promised, halfway through, to pick a fight over some pointless matter we will not remember the subject of two weeks later so the whole family can sit in broody silence for the remainder of the holiday.
