Oh nuts...

PaulR

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A man is driving past a mental hospital when he gets a flat tyre. He goes out to change the tyre, and sees that one of the patients is watching him through the fence.

Nervous, trying to work quickly, he jacks up the car, takes off the wheel, puts the wheel nuts into the hubcap and then steps on the hubcap sending the wheel nuts clattering into a drain.

The mental patient is still watching him through the fence. The motorist desperately looks into the drain, but the wheel nuts are gone. The patient is still watching.

The motorist paces back and forth, trying to think of what to do, and the patient says, "Take one wheel nut off each of the other wheels, and you'll have three wheel nuts on each"

"That's brilliant!" says the motorist, "what's someone like you doing in an asylum?"

"I'm here because I'm crazy" says the patient, "not because I'm stupid."
 

pgh13

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Not claiming any originality, but it sparked a memory and, well, you started it!

Hillary Clinton was visting a mental hospital. On her way in, she spoke to a male patient who was tending the hospital flower beds and asked him why he was there. He told her his life story adding that he had been incarcerated for over twenty years.
Mrs Clinton was very impressed by his demeanour and hinted that she would speak in his favour regarding his release as he seemed to be completely cured and ready to take his place in society. The man was extremely grateful and returned to his gardening.
As Mrs Clinton reached the front door of the hospital, she was struck on the back of the head by a brick.
With blood oozing, she turned, groggily, to see the man standing there.
He said; 'You won't forget now, will you?'
 

Topper

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That looks familiar

Donald Trump was visiting a mental hospital and stopped on his way in to speak to a male patient who was tending the hospital flower beds and he asked him why he was there. The patient told him his life story adding that he had been incarcerated now for over twenty years. Mr Trump was very impressed by his demeanour and hinted that he would speak in his favour regarding his release as he seemed to be completely cured and ready to take his place in society. The man was extremely grateful and returned to his gardening. Later Mr Trump was concluding his visit and as he reached the front door of the hospital, he was struck on the back of the head by a brick. With blood oozing from a gash on his head, he turned groggily, to see the man he had spoken to earlier, standing there.
The man waved and smiled and said; 'You won't forget now, will you?'
 
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