Old Tom

PaulR

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Old Bob goes to see his friend Old Tom who is getting a bit forgetful in his old age. Eventually the conversation gets round to Bob asking Tom if he is going on holiday this year.

Tom says “Yes we’re having a week in …emmm…”

Bob says “Blackpool again?”

“No no no” says Tom “It’s…emmm…”

“Skegness?” asks Bob

“No no no” says Tom “Oh what’s it called?”

“Scarborough?” asks Bob

“No no no” answers Tom “What do you call that green stuff that grows up the side of houses?”

Bob says “Ivy?”

“THAT’S IT!” cries Tom “IVY! Where are we going on holiday this year?”
 

Channel Hopper

Suffering fools, so you don't have to.
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Old Tom 2

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
 

Lazarus

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Speaking as a proper Tyke, that's pretty good.
 

Channel Hopper

Suffering fools, so you don't have to.
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Unfortuntely it is sold in 330ml bottles around here, and costs upwards of a pound seventy, so I don't sdrink it that often.

Last week in Amsterdam - ISE 2016 at RAI- the local supermarket to my apartment was selling six bottles of Duvel (8.5%) for six euros.
In the hall a 330 bottle of Heinekin (4%) was almost 3 Euros.
Guess what I had at lunchtime in the back pack....
 
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